It can all be said

It can all be said in pictures

But if we need words...SHIT JUST GOT REAL...

It definitely was

It definitely was a friend therapist day yesterday.  The first part of it was sharing with a friend about her best friend passing.  Her beautiful and wonderful dog, Athena.  I was attached to Athena too because she became somewhat of my therapy dog.  Athena helped me overcome my fears of big dogs.  I mean, she was like a small horse.  But oh, the love in this dog.  It was heartbreaking to hear the story.  But I was also happy to be there for MC. I miss my therapy dog.  I don't need one nearly as much.  And at this point, I know I could easily ask NP to be around Zeus.  He was cuddling up to me by the end of our visit.  It was hilarious lol.  These days, I don't get the anxiety attacks like I used to.  I still have habits that come up.  Self doubt likes to creep in.  But I have enough people to reach out to help me crush the self doubt.  I'm even helping myself out with my setback.  One of these days I may just ask "L"and " DA" to hang out with "DA", by himself for a couple of hours, playing video games or something.    Him and Jeremy act like brothers.  It's hilarious watching them.  It almost sounds silly that I have this setback but there it is.  It's a hang up I have to get over but it will come with time.  I know this.  It also was a day of finding out if I really had learned a lesson in life.  It was a proud moment for me.  I found out some news about Javier through the grapevine. He got engaged.  I felt nothing.  I mean...literally...nothing.  And that truly made me smile.  I really have come a long way in my journey of healing.  Truthfully, I feel pity for his fiance.  I wouldn't go chasing after her to warn her.  But if I am ever approached by her, then yes, I will tell her my story.  Sometimes, in life you can't present truth in such an upfront way.  Sometimes, you have to let someone come to terms with the truth and ask you about it.  Over the years, it's something I noticed.  In other news, I have the whole collection of Harry Potter!!! I meant to get Book 5 of it yesterday.  I was curious to see if the car was truly working.  It worked just fine.  Thank you, KJ!!! Jeremy put in a new battery but it was still losing connection.  She fiddled with it a bit and bam. My car was purring in no time.  And I figured since I was there.....yeah.  You know what happened next.  I saw Book 6 and 7 there.  And while I was there...I got something for myself.  I got myself a Harry Potter coloring book.  And that melted my heart.  I was in such a hurry to get this for others...I forgot to ask myself if I wanted one.  And it turns out, the answer is yes.  So I have a Doctor Who coloring book and a Harry Potter one, now  The next thing to do is get a Superman tshirt.  "L" had this crazy idea to go see the movie in our shirts.  She's a batman girl.  I'm a superman girl.  I'm not sure what we feel about the current people playing those roles, but we have our loyalties.  And mine is Superman.  Garden Lullaby by Gary Stadler is on. Also, in other news...We have a sort of ceiling!!!! It is Day 4 of Repairs.  They will finish up the kitchen.  I'm not sure if they are painting today or not.  But if I'm not mistaken today is the day they start the Living room.  Slowly, but surely, we're getting our house back.  Still looking for 4 things to hang on the wall.  I have the ones that were originally there but I think at some point...I want to change it.I t's one of those things that is leaving a bad taste in my mouth.  Not all of the things, but that one is.  Perhaps, I need a redo with those particular items so I can appreciate them more.  We shall see. And my third one was more of encouragement and such.  But it was still nice that I was being asked my take.  So it definitely was a friend therapist day.  Passages by John Schmidt is playing.  But I love it.  It makes me friend heart melt that people ask for my take.  Here are the pictures of the almost ceiling!

Too much photo fun has begun

You don't know how crazy I went with pictures. But here's a few more that did make me smile. The second one is the next day but I was rocking the waist cincher.  Instagram filter got me all  70s Icon. I'll take it. Queen Sparkles rocking it!

Oh, yes

Oh yes,

I even got an unbucket list of drinking from a horn.  And seeing the Claddagh ring was heartwarming.  I love that symbol as well.

Symbols in a story

That is a great way to look at this Saturday.  I have been super excited to go to another type of Renfest.  This one was called Sherwood Faire.  Jeremy and I had never been to this one.  We started out early.  We were going with "L" and "DA".  And meeting up with EB And KO.  "L" had been to this faire and could give us an idea of what it was like.  It is smaller.  However, she had a great point that it was perfect for a one day thing.  She was right.  So, already, going to a faire again was amazing.  I went when I was 17.  Javier actually went with me that time.  Then, we went again with friends.  But this was Renfest.  I didn't know if it be any different.  I had talked about souvenirs with Jeremy.  We were, of course, going to get a shot glass from there.  However, I had told him I'd also like to get another magnet.  It was a Trinity Knot.  I loved that magnet.  So parting with it meant significance.  But it felt time for a redo.  It became an adventure to find the perfect magnet and shot glass.  In the end, there were was story in the symbols, just as much as symbols in the story.  I found a Trinity Knot magnet.  It's beautiful.  It brings peace to me, especially the way the kitchen looks right now.  Jeremy smiled at me when we found it.  Knowing the story behind it, he gets the symbols in a story now.  Maybe he always did.  But now I see it.  And then the shot glass.  I almost ended up with a shot glass that looked like a coffee mug.  Instead, I ended up with such a unique look for a shot glass.  I wouldn't necessarily even deem it one firsthand.  I love it.  Then, lastly...sighs...I think I am going to cry again.  I am tearing up as we speak.  There's been a dream of mine to own an article of clothing.  I have always wanted to own a corset or waist cincher.  But they are so expensive.  I just never really wanted to entertain the idea of buying one.  But it doesn't stop me from looking at corsets and waist cinchers.  I was looking for a deep red color.  Perhaps, burgandy...perhaps wine.  Certainly a dark red.  I have always wanted one.  I tried one on.  "L" lit up when I tried it on.  What we didn't know at the time is the lady put it on upside down.  Still, I loved it.  I told Jeremy....You are allowed to say no.  I will be okay.  I will understand.  He just looked at me, smiled, and said... "Yes".  And there, in the store...I broke down in tears.  What is also significant is that it's the year of healing.  It seems so fitting that I would get it this year.  I love the waist cincher.  I feel amazing in it.  My back feels amazing in it!!! I feel beautiful in it.  Not for how I look, but how it makes me feel.  I'm glad Jeremy and anyone else that appreciates how it looks on me likes me in it.  But it's the way it makes me feel in it.  I can't even describe it to you.  It's a 17 year old seeing one, in person for the first time.  I had heard about them.  But I had never seen one in person.  I was in love.  But again, $200 seemed like too much.  The waist cinchers were cheaper.  And it's corset enough for me!!! Lady of the moon is on. So there is my Saturday.  There is what symbols in a story can be.

Lost in a song

Celtic music is the best way I get lost in a song
May it be by Haley Westenra is on.
I get lost in the music.
I don't know where I became fascinated and lost in this music. 8? About the same time I became fascinated with Ireland and Irish association...in general.
It's a blanket of happiness that I can't even describe.  Sometimes it's made me cry.  But not from sadness...from something else.
I told you.  I get lost.
Maybe one day you can put a playlist together.  And maybe one day a song of mine will inspire you to put a song on the playlist.
That would be a happy thought.
To me, Celtic music...is a happy thought.

A remodel of your own

Day 2 of the repairs! They will be here shortly,  And it's a handful.  I am getting color charts for the kitchen wall and upstairs bathroom.  They stripped the wallpaper yesterday.  Then, the project manager and the head repair guy will be here.  Along with a helper.  The older helper's last day was yesterday.  The project manger will be coming about an hour later from that.  And lastly, head repair guy's son will be here.  He's got school work to do.  It was also his birthday yesterday! So in true Jess fashion...I sent him home with a consolation prize of wine! The song of the Sun is on by Mike Oldfield.  I'm loving these Celtic radio stations! Also, color for the vinyl? The floor in the kitchen, basically.  That got destroyed in the Kearney Flood of 2016.  I can scratch that off my unbucket list.  I swept water out of my kitchen! And tomorrow is Renfest!!! I call all the festivals of such Renfest.  Don't mind me.  And next week is Jeremy's 40th birthday! With so much happening right now, I really hadn't gotten much time to prepare for his birthday.  Good thing we ended up not doing Vegas! Actually, strange thing.  We got invited to go to Hawaii.  lol Not with these repairs going.  But it was still a nice invitation.  And Vegas came up with the same person. So maybe we'll celebrate Jeremy's 40th birthday a year late.  You know...every time we spoke about his 40th...because I always talked about going to Vegas...I didn't think about Life happens scenario.  lol Ah.  Life.  You happen.  Grrr....lol Nah.  You can either Grr...or Ah...just ride the wave.  Ride the wave and learn how to surf.  I haven't started book 3 of Harry Potter as well.  Maybe I will work on that today! I finally finished The Mentalist so I am back to having movies on the Netflix Queue.  But I also started Criminal Minds.  Actually, my friend, AP, suggested I Zombie first since it's only one season.  Turkey gave me access to his Hulu so technically, we have Hulu and Netflix.  We've had Netflix for years.  It started as a birthday present from his mom and then a year or two later, Jeremy took it over.  Sometimes we have that conversation...Should we see that movie? Or is it a wait until it comes out on Netflix? Eh. Wait until it comes out on Netflix.  Yup.  That's been a conversation of ours.  So something interesting that crossed my mind...a remodel of your own.  My house is getting updated and remodeled in some ways.  It got damaged somewhat but it is still here. It is still standing. It is still my sanctuary.  Experiences in life could have defined me or damaged me, even.  But I am still standing.  I am still my own sanctuary.  I waited 20 years for that to make sense to me.  And sometimes I think the right things, the right moments...all of it makes sense....when you need it to.  The timing had it that it would make sense...now.  Sighs.  And Jeremy.  He's my rock.  This snafu did get us a little frustrated and could have translated into some tension.  It almost did.  But we worked on it.  And I'm proud of us.  What is that saying? Communication is an every day miracle.  If it was a quote somewhere before, I don't know.  But I used to hear my friend, Aaron, say that.  I say his full name because it's my way of acknowledging him.  He passed away.  Indeed, my friend.  Communication is an every day miracle.