The Adventures we have

Jeremy's birthday fun times was so much fun.  Between last night and today, it was a bowl full of adventures and fun.  He got surprised with a birthday shindig that he knew some details but not everything.  When you're so distracted with home repairs, car repairs, and suddenly your garage door opener clicker gets busted....it was time for an ughs moment.  I let out a cry.  But then I felt better.  It helps to have bffs that understand and take over and threw together a last minute thing.  And help you find a card.  And get a cake.  As a backup, I typed up a love letter.  I drove us home.  That was a big deal in and of itself.  I don't drive home at night.  But it was a straight line.  And I had my trusty sunglasses.  It was my birthday gift to Jeremy.  That way he could drink.  It was cute to watch him get buzzedy ish.  There is an awesome picture of me kissing him on the cheek and you can see that he is buzzed.  And today were more adventures.  It was a belated birthday with "D" and the kids.  There was thumb theatre. Yes, that really happened.  There was cupcake adventures. I, of course, got red velvet.  Delicious and pretty...mmmmm There was bowling.  And almost an interesting adventure with that. "D" checked on the website on when cosmic bowling was to avoid that for me.  It said 6.  Then, out of nowhere they announce they are about to start Cosmic bowling and anyone with a condition to come up to the front.  I am about to head to the front, and not 15 seconds later they are trying to put it on.  She and I head straight to the desk and stop them so they can at least give us time to get my sunglasses or talk to them about their oops we gave you the wrong time.  I did talk to the manager and just explain we worked around the time frame and it needed to be addressed about their error.  She and I can relate to medical issues and frustrations in the world about living with our conditions.  Luckily, I have been accustomed to the world and the many flashing of lights in many ways that can get to me.  I avert my eyes rather quickly.  But we also went to Lion and Rose.  I pigged out on a breakfast burger.  And she and I shared bread pudding while the birthday boy got an apple turnover.  We made him a card out of napkin.  That was awesome.  We had Starbucks as well.  I got a lighter version of a cookie crumble.  I had been looking for this recipe that a barrista had given me some months ago and didn't know where I had put it.   It turns out it was in my "travel" purse.  It was delicious.  I happened to be wearing a superman shirt and saw a decal on computer that had superman.  The man and I smiled and I asked him if I could take a picture.  It's also National Unicorn Day so friends posted or sent me stuff regarding Unicorns.  I loved it. It was a heartmelt.  As it was, my post today said something like this...A smile does wonders.  A gesture is major.  I hope today one or the other happens.  You do that for someone.  Or someone does that for you.  You'll think it's small.  But it might be everything to them.  And I got to experience both.  In the midst of all of our adventures, "D" needed an errand that involved cake supplies.  So we ended up at a store for that.  She got me a Unicorn cookie cutter.  That made my heart melt.  The adventures we have.  I love this dichotomy that Jeremy and I have with our relationship. There is this genuine friendship that happens. I saw this funny but awful post that I texted to Jeremy.  But we laugh. We get it.  Oh, the adventures we have.  Here is some of our adventures.  I'm starting to have fun telling a story with the pictures.  It's like you can follow along with my story.

Jeremy's gift from "D"

Birthday boy's treat

Right?

"D" got this for me!! How fitting for today!!!

Buzzedy ish

thumb theatre. That really happened

cupcake adventures

bat man!

so bad lol

Friends sending me stuff

Awesome

Rockn the deadpool with a skirt.  Look at me, all confident in a skirt

friends sending me stuff today

 don't judge

 I should join that club!

Happiness!!!

Heartmelt

check out the tuna

friends sending me Unicorn stuff today

rockn the bowling shoes

nifty

Left top.  My red velvet!

Crazy good!

Dorks

We're dorks. And this will show you just how much.  He'll actually go matching t shirts or opposite t shirts with me.  I love it.  We have the Dr. Pepper and Coke one.  We have the two Dr. Pepper Shirts.  We have the Sailboat t shirts.  And now...we have these.  And if you're curious.  He's Batman. I'm Superman.

JK

Jeremy Kearney...such a character.  Today is his birthday.  All these years when we talked about today...today...certainly didn't look like today.  I had always wanted to take off for his 40th.  I had never been to Vegas so I thought, why not.  And then, a month ago....all this happened.  And while it is a bit of a first world problem...and certainly people have worst problems... it doesn't make this house chaos any more frazzling for me...or for us, for that matter.  Yet, it just made us appreciate what we had.  Our house (literally) could be falling apart and we were still okay.  Because we had each other.  The other day we were getting ready for bed and I said, "Babe, I am really glad we're not Facebook happy".  And he said, "Me too".  Sometimes they say you can see life in pictures.  Maybe that's why I take pictures.  Tonight, however, I won't.  It;s his 40th.  And while it wasn't exactly how I planned it, it somehow came out even better.  Jeremy is loved and adored by others , just as much as me.  I say he's a character because like any person, he has his flaws.  And as the person who has been by his side...I've seen them.  For better or worse.  Likewise, Jeremy has seen me at my best....and my worst.  We have our language...our own way of communicating.  We have our own sense of humor.  We have a Jeremy and Jess thing.  

I wasn't sure I could get him a card so I typed this up.

Happy Birthday to the most amazing person I have ever met.  You're th best thing to ever happen to me, Jeremy Kearney.  And every day I love that I can show you what it means to be absolutely loved and adored.  Whether you believe in soulmates, I believe in something like soul's twin.  There is a great song that you like called The Story by Brandi Carlile. Part of the Lyrics go like this:

So many stories of where I've been

But these stories don't meant mean

anything

When you've got no one to tell them to

It's true. I was made for you

All this chaos in the house just makes me appreciate us..that no matter what happens around us...our house falls apart, or anything else does...we have each other...Beyond the romantic..beyond the friendship...we each other's back, simply because we love each other.  There's more but I left it out. Each picture is a representation as best as I can to document this day.  To celebrate my person....my best friend....my partner in crime...my protector....my love....my husband.  I love this man with every fiber of my being.  I hurt when he hurts.  I'm happy when he's happy.  I've never met anyone quite like Jeremy.  If you believe from Jim Brickman is on.  The card is the simplicity but the beauty in our love.  The Marry is because we both love food.  I think we have had gasms in food.  So...it just seemed fitting.  The third is the last picture we took him being 39.  The fourth one is doing sign language.  He goofed and said he was 36 and we redid it.  But I thought it was cute that I've rubbed off on him.  He actually was getting into the picture as much as I was.  The 5th is our sense of humor.  And I thought it was funny I got a text from a friend of this. It also looks like it could be a Tardis if you're not paying attention.  The 6th is this morning...in our living room with nothing but the couch.  The repair people left that there for us.  Great family company.  You even see Whiskers roaming around.  Poor thing has been locked up all this time until we had a ceiling. And lastly is another friend sending me a text with that view.  That is how I feel inside with my love for Jeremy.  If you wanted to see inside...that's what it looks like.  So...thank you for indulging me on my lovefest for my husband.  I might make some of you sick over how I adore him.  It's okay. We make ourselves puke too.  We struggle and have to work through things like any other couple.  We argue too.  We're not perfect.  And don't believe anyone that they are.  Behind closed doors, people are different.  You know...maybe that's why I am so open in my blog.  I want you to take a trip inside.  I want you to see the good, the bad, and the oh boy.  I want you to see the authentic.  It means exposing myself to judgement...to ridicule...and that does make me vulnerable.  But if I can survive the things I have...and come out strong.  I think I can handle a few judgmental people. Besides, it says more about you...than it does about me.  Today is our song from Smashing Pumpkins....

But strangely enough Wedding Song from Mehdi is on.  Thank you, Universe.  I will remember today...on his birthday...right now...That was playing....JK...Jeremy Kearney...Happy Birthday, you Sexy Beast.

It's amazing

It's amazing what a little food can do for you.  I am hooked on Criminal Minds.  If I'm going to be trapped here....I might as well be entertained.  I think I had the case of the grumpies.  I feel so much better.  I think a little hermit time did me some good.  I got to escape to MC's place for a bit to bout with the cabin fever feeling.  I'm back obsessively watching Criminal Minds.  I'll probably read tonight.  I haven't been able to write any more of my story.  This home chaos is a bit distracting. Jeremy and I did have an interesting sense of humor on something.  One of Jeremy's nicknames has been Dexter.  So...Dexter...in the Dexter house.    And in the process got to reflect on a thing or two.  Nothing is ever a waste if you learned something.  This definitely is an experience.  And there are moments where the case of the grumpies takes me or Jeremy...or both.  But we figure it out.  And happier for it.  I can't wait to celebrate one of the best things that ever happened to me in my life.  My husband, the badass.  Now, enjoy that little smile on your face...and perhaps a little creeped out too from Mr. awesome saucyness badass Jeremy, my husband. I am so in love with that man.  Can you tell?

Batteries and recharge

Sometimes, in life, in order to get your own thoughts back...sometimes your own life...you gotta drown out the world.  I thought about this for a friend last night.  Divorces are never fun.  And they are feeling the effects of it.  And with children involved.  And the ex is a piece of work.  Sighs.  And they are trying to move on.  But I likened it to a virus.  They have had so much exposure to that virus, there are still lingering effects on them.  But they also told me something big.  Thanks to me, they had the courage to stop the cycle.  To stop going back.  I wasn't telling them to stay or leave.  It's a rule of mine.  Whatever my own personal opinions about a marriage might be, in the end, I am not the one who lives with the rewards or consequences.  And I've had a friend or two that worried me with that rule.  But thankfully, things have worked out.  I think is a drown out day for me.  I want to be ready for Jeremy's birthday tomorrow.  In my mind, over years, his 40th birthday looked way different in my head.  And then, life happens.  The plan is...and well you roll with the punches.  I may or may not have a card for him.  I really haven't been able to get away. He understands that.  It still doesn't make me feel better.  Still, I am glad I have help on  celebrating him.  So, today, I may just stay off the grid.  Sometimes you just gotta drown out the world, to recharge.  I get why people love naps.  Or love massages. Or love writing.  Or whatever it is they love to get away from it all.  A strange thing happened this morning.  Jeremy and I almost went downstairs as our usual routine and then Jeremy stopped himself and chuckled.  I asked him what was funny...and then realized myself.  We have no couch to sit on.  So we stayed upstairs.  I just got a text from "SADF" that read, A resting day is a beautiful thing. Be kind to yourself.  You deserve it.  Maybe it's that I am processing my own grief with Athena. Maybe it's that I've been thinking of a mere mortals reference.  Maybe it's feeling bad plans didn't go as such for Jeremy.  Maybe it's the house.  I just need to recharge.  Hopefully, I do that.
The Enchanted Garden by Kevin Kern is on. Maybe that's what it is. My batteries are low and I need a recharge.  Batteries and recharge.  I think I need to power nap before the workers get here.

Surreal

That might be an apt description for what this is.  A couple of days of this will be an adjustment.  But very soon, we will have a home again.  In the meantime, enjoy the pictures.  It's like we have our very own haunted house.  oooooh oooooh (required sounds for the pictures).  It feels surreal. 

The path

Yesterday,  one of my best friends posted this on my timeline.  It made me smile.  It almost made me cry.  I love how they understand sometimes things I haven't even talked about yet.  Yet, somehow, they know.  "SADF" and "DRO" have always been like that.  We have odd beginnings.  And I can't even say they were necessarily good ones.  I was a different person.  I was more hostile and confrontational.  But they have known me for almost 10 years. And we have stuck together...one way or another.   I still think of another friend that I am not sure where we are at.  But I do know that we care about each other.  And maybe that is the deeper truth I needed to see.  And "L", the newest of them all.  We have actually known each other for 3 years.  We met through a mutual friend...that is no longer friends with either of us.  When her (as in the former friend, "CN") and "Little One" split, well...Jeremy and I grown closer to him.  He got us in the custody.  Back to this beautiful message.  The path is certainly not a straight line.  My healing came with so many new questions to be had from trying to figure out my journey.  My path came with heartache.  My path certainly came with a good amount of tears.  When I care....I care with my heart, my soul.  It's why my heartbreaks when I do lose someone, either by death, circumstances, or any other way, are just that. heartbreaks.  And then there is the healing journey that garnered much tears and heartache.  I felt the pain when I would break up with someone.  But I also feel happy that after some time, most exes are willing to try a friendship.  And so it is nice now, to have a few ex best friends and exes that keep in touch.  We don't go out for coffee or anything.  I tried us going out for a movie with one ex best friend and his wife got the wrong idea about us.  Sheesh.  It's a movie, woman.  And my husband is here with me.  But I digress.  I like the idea that the path isn't straight.  As difficult as it might seem at the time that it isn't such a direct answer, I appreciate the story.  I appreciate the life lesson.  I do continually go back to things and where I thought I understood something, I reflect, and find a deeper truth to it.  Most things do hold that truth to me.  Autumn by Ryan Stewart is on.  Reflecting each time might bring a new deeper perspective of things.  It helps one to appreciate the story or lesson to be made.  I constantly am learning.  I am constantly mindful of keeping my eyes for the lesson.  Sometimes I miss it.  Sometimes, I still don't understand the full lesson or understand things.  And that's okay.  Because I am not alone.  And sometimes when life hands me a lesson, and I don't understand, I have amazing people to talk to figure out my journey.  To figure out things in my life.  To understand my value. I have a lot more confidence these days.  I feel it.  I have self doubt moments still.  But it helps to help others with their self doubt.  So by revealing my insecurities, I help others understand theirs.  I look at myself as a reference manual.  You don't have to take the steps I did in my journey.  I am just a reference manual or what to do...or not to do.  And the is a deeper truth that I want you to walk away with.  That my story will help you in some way.  Whether it's the small parts of my life....or the big ones...I hope I help you in some way.  Maybe it's not every day that I do.  But when you read my blog, you gain a perspective of your own.  I hope you reflect on certain things in your life. On a side note, a friend of mine had her baby! I am so happy for her.  People have a story.  So many of us have a story.  I will never tire of anyone's story because it got them to where they are now.  And it is fascinating to see where it leads to.
For the Love of a Princess is on by Myleen Klass.