It's a thing

Yesterday I was having a wonderful conversation with a friend.  You know me and having wonderful conversations with friends.  I was discussing with her how I found out that Love Languages changing.  I had read up on it.  It was a question I had.  Something I changed in me within the last 3 weeks that made me bring that topic up.  Perhaps, it had been there but now, it was forefront in my mind.  The trigger, or the reason, was watching the behind the scenes of Jeremy remodeling the shower.  Now, keep in mind, this was my husband's first time doing something like this.  Long before doing anything, I watched him plan.  I watched him organize.  I watched him do the math.  I watched him measure.  I had never seen this process before so I was very fascinated.  The beginning was somewhat of a shock to my system.  I saw the inside of the wall.  For me, it looked a little like a horror story.  It's hard to explain that description.  But I imagined a figure behind what looked more like being in an attic ready to pounce me with a knife.  I have an over active imagination.  What can I say?  I saw Jeremy taking 3 maybe 4 hours out of each work day and then weekends, working all day to do this remodel.  Somewhere along the lines, it was a personal joke that it was my birthday gift.  After all, we love our Aquifina time.  And I love shower time as a spa.  I put on Pandora and forget the world.  That is something about us.  Something becomes a half joke and then somewhere along the line, it becomes real.  It really became my birthday gift.  I saw the pain his back was giving him.  He was tired.  But he was relentless.  And it hit me.  In a question.  Did my Love Language change? I adjusted to not having words of affirmation.  I desperately needed them in the past.  He struggled endlessly to tell me.  A man of few words.  But a man of action.  It occurred to me that while I needed words, actions speak louder than words.  This shower was a work of art.  I got to be part of the design process.  I picked out the tile.  We discussed logistics of certain tile working or not.  I eventually called the shower a Labor of Love.  Because that's exactly what it was.  If I ever wanted to question if this man fiercely loves me, I jokingly can say "Bitch, have you seen your shower?".  I am currently crying happy tears.  It has been a struggle for so long to know my own worth.  It took me twenty years to get out of my hell hole of believing that I was worth nothing.  But now that I have emerged as a butterfly, emerged and seen my worth...well..I get to see the love people have for me.  I get to see the love Jeremy has for me.  And when he has words of affirmation...holy shitcakes....it's even more special.  I hadn't realized the amount of pressure I had put on him.  When my love language changed to acts of service, the overwhelming moment of being "woke" for lack of a better word, changed me.  It was a game changer.  Love Languages changing.  It's a thing. 
My love language is Physical Touch and Acts of Service
Funny enough...so is his.  River of Dreams from Dean Everson is on