In a daze

That's how I feel. I feel like I'm in a bad dream...some sort of nightmare.  And somehow this is all a blur. Like a bad side effect from being drugged.  Death always stops you at your core.  When a person you care for is yanked like this it sort of makes you lose your equilibrium.  I cried today...some small thing would set me off.  But I pulled through today. I pulled through my test...all the while not all of me there.  I don't know how to feel right now. I'm angry. I'm sad. I'm confused. I'm nostalgic.  I'm heartbroken. I'm well...I'm a lot of things.  I have so much to write...and then nothing at all. But I didn't want to fail doing what I do.  Somehow I felt I could honor the memory by being strong.