Circumstances and conserving since I'm going back to school was a big reason Halloween wasn't a big deal this year. Which is why I loved seeing pictures of my friends celebrating. They made my day. Halloween is fun. Not much else. Tomorrow is a new month. Time for thinking of Thomas' birthday, Thanksgiving, and Ashley's birthday.
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
I'm less anxious. I am more aware of things. My head feels clearer. Things feel less chaotic within me. It's a different feeling. I feel more purpose w my day. I also used to tidget and unable to be still. That stillness allows me to transport myself somewhere else. The sounds give meaning and tranquility. Tranquility is a good word for this feeling. And so much more than a feeling....it's my whole being.
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
I had some time to reflect before my lunch date with a friend. Since I have more time on my hands I should take the opportunity to use it. Especially, since my schedule will change and it won't always be the case. I was thinking of past relationships. Whether they be past friendships or romantic ones. I think I become distracted w the " failure" of one and wonder what part I play in the "failure". And then it hit me. They may have been tiny succeses for the " bigger picture". I may not have seen that they served their purpose to teach me something about myself. So today I saw a tiny success in those friendships and relationships. And I was grateful for the lesson they taught me. Finding yourself is essential. ...at any age.
Monday, October 28, 2013
Friday, October 25, 2013
Sometimes so many thoughts are running through the mind. Schedules, obligations, and people occupy our thoughts. At least for me...this has happened. Because I've had the opportunity I took advantage of clearing my mind. If I'm going to help others achieve this I need to understand how to myself. Quieting my mind has been helpful. My thoughts tend to race all over the place. And in that process I create anxiety. I don't mean to. So...here I am...trying to slow down the pace of my thoughts. It's therapeutic.
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Jeremy putting an effort. ..Jeremy still finding ways to make me happy...Jeremy still wooing me...is the best feeling ever. I still get those butterflies in my stomach. I get like a giddy school girl. He smiles at me and I melt. Tonighr reconfirmed that continious fweling of connection we have. I appreciate that both of us work on our communication, our passion, and our relationship. We have our moments. But I wouldn't have it any other way. This cazy ride called life...I only trust one person next to me riding.....My best friend, my partner -in-crime, and soul mate. Who else can put up w me so beautifully?
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Monday, October 21, 2013
Conjecture plays a role. But when you have facts you follow the trail of facts. Because I think so grey I was nice to be able to see black and white...from a female perspective. I like learning. I like someone giving me a solid argument on why thinking another way is important. You learn something new everyday. ..least that is a hope.
Saturday, October 19, 2013
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
A conversation sparked this thought about choices I've made in my life. I've held myself accountable for mistakes I've made and ultimately the lessons learned. I've done that so I don't feel regrets in my life. I don't want a do over. For one reason only......I'm married to him. You choose how you react the world. That's tough to follow through sometimes. I don't claim to have the secret to happiness. However, my journey. ..thus far has taught me my choices navigate my rewards in life. ...and my consequences. So I must be mindful of my chices. And for that I live w little regret.
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
So...today I went into an upscale store. Some wardrobe was couture. Most women like me have moments where unlimited shopping sprees flash before their eyes. However, as I was admiring these items a thought occured. The perks of not living up to a standard of upscale living is that at any given point...I know clothes won't make a person. ..their character will. Trust me...it's nice. But I chalk it up to gazing at museum pieces. I'm ok...just looking. I'm curious to know I'd an affluent person has that "luxury" to know who likes them...for just them....
Monday, October 14, 2013
School is next month. I'm so excited. I'm also trying to get back into working out. I've also been trying to read more. I like routine. So I want to back into some form of routine. something about routine feels natural. It could be just me.
Friday, October 11, 2013
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
I want to vent this to the world....and look in the mirror and say it to myself as well. Humble yourself to know its not all about you. ..good....or bad. It helps to be a considerate person whenever you can. Let people decide their fate. You don't know the entire story because its not your journey. And finally. ..communication is work....and worth it...on the right person.
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Monday, October 7, 2013
Friday, October 4, 2013
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
It's always interesting to learn people's story. In fact, in some ways the story is still writing itself. It also reminds me what I want out of my story. I want meaning. I want purpose. I want adventure. I want a vanilla mocha blend. I wonder if that makes sense to me only.