It's what I did yesterday. I went to a counselor to check in. It really helped. She was a great soundboard. Sometimes you have the answers or know the answers but someone has to ask the rught question for you to get there. I also coined an interesting quote. I'm a tough cookie but even I can recognize I'm having a cookie crumble moment. And then my support. It's not just females in the mix. I have my constants. They are an integral part because of trust bridge. Or whatever you want to call it.
Thursday, July 30, 2015
My thoughts mess with me. It's my nature to have my thoughts do that. The good thing is having a support that understands my footing is not going to always be good. I'm not always going to stick the landing. And that's ok. It's ok to ask for help...or a hug...or vent...or just be there. See...the thoughts again. Part of ne asks how did I deserve this. But that's years of being rejected by certain individuals. Old habits die hard. Then, other parts go...why the hell not???! I'm an amazing person to have and to be in someone's life? This validation project. It's a work in progress. I'm even learning to do it with Jeremy. Respect his opinion. But don't blundly follow or do....just because someone said it. Three words to remember...in your opinion. Aaron and I had a long discussion once about that. Tangent. Sorry. These are the thoughts running today. It's probably due to being my Grandma 's birthday and sgoing to see her...and the other thing. If you're reading and don't get it it's ok. Pass along. If you do...you understand the thoughts. The feeling. Just everything. It never really leaves. I guess the psychology of surviving. I looked at a magazine covet...the one regarding Bill Cosby...and I felt chills. Powerful image.....
All sorts of things...running through my head.
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
I love conversations about getting inspired. One of my bffs, Amanda Reyes came up with a wonderful idea for those days rhat inspiration seems dried up. Find one of my quote books and build on that. I often have inspiration somewhere on my thoughts. My train of thought seems like a locomotive of random things linking together. And then not so random. Somehow, in my mind it connects. Squirrel! Yeah....although mine is Glitterbomb! But I figured you could appreciate the squirrel reference.
Monday, July 27, 2015
I am so happy when I put my Butterfly playlist on. It contains somgs that whether good or bad memories molded my life. They're footprints that take me back. I created one for warrior empowering inspiration. It's called Dragonfly. It's a work in progress. I always wanted a playlist for my life. I guess you could day it's something on the Unbucket list. Currently playing is Ronan Keating, "When you say nothing at all". It's a fitting song for Jeremy and I.
Saturday, July 25, 2015
Sometimes life distracts you. No harm. You simply blog when you figure out Friday was not done. Jeremy was with me so Ill blame him. Experirncing life. It's beautiful to socialize. I run between social butterfly world amd recharge to hermit world. I like both, depending on my mood
..and more importantly, my health. I thought of a random idea. What if Epileptics come with a drained battery mode that require more than average sleep because our cycles are not successful. Uninterrupted sleep is the best. I'm probably all over the place because I'm sleepy. I'll try sleep again.
Thursday, July 23, 2015
Wednesday, July 22, 2015
Jeremy and I really are. Wr seems so wrong on paper. Yet, just recently an almost complete stranger took the time to point out what an incredible couple we were together. Marriage is a beautiful adventure with him. It's work. It's not all unicorns and cupcakes. But wr get each other. And accept each other. All elements. That's what we promised. Accept....and love all elements. Like our own vows. I like that. The new Dharma and Greg.
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
Monday, July 20, 2015
Friday, July 17, 2015
Thursday, July 16, 2015
Wednesday, July 15, 2015
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
I am so glad I am not attending school right now. I would not want to deal with knowing that I know about the importance of slavery but that I don't get to learn about it because it's a "side issue" in my state. Forgive me for saying this...but the Texas Education System....well, it sucks! It reeks, actually. I appreciated having a different look at history through my American Studies. While it does touch on history, it also looks at cultural aspects of America. It looks at how we function as a country. It may have been to liberal arts to really hone in on a career. I wish I might have tried finding something that had a more direct line to a career...but we're here. This is my path. Sometimes your path is going to go zig zag. I love my country. I am not saying I don't. I love my state. I just wished that those in power weren't so ignorant in terms of teaching our children. Maybe I'm overreacting. I don't feel like it...but maybe I am.
Monday, July 13, 2015
Friday, July 10, 2015
Why is it easier to be quick to judge. I mean, our human nature is putting someone down. Granted, it is okay to have a human moment and recognize...I'm having a catty moment. But why are we ready to insult someone? Social media has been great about amplifying that. I have to remind myself not to look at comments of things. Otherwise, I go nuts with how many people will say mean things. I am no saint. I don't claim to be on any measure. But I do hope that I find a compliment or see something positive out of people, first. Maybe that's why it was easier to have my version of Jeremy's zen. I still have my quick moments to want to get mad. They're there. But that logical side to me is stronger. It even works on fights with Jeremy. I acknowledge to him how he's annoying me but without the sardonic tone to it. What's nice is he reacts better with it too. I tend to react to being "done wrong.". But what if I'm misinterpreting that "done wrong". Sometimes I am being wronged. And sometimes I am just getting the wrong signal. Instead of quick to judge the person on the negative I go through the positive of their communication. Maybe, just maybe it can start with me. Maybe in some small way, I'm a domino effect I will never see of good vibes.
Thursday, July 9, 2015
Maybe it's just me...but above everything respect should be priority. We have such a skewed version of church and state. I don't like fighting. I stay off of politics and religion with my Facebook. But I get confused about the ferver of opposition for people that are different from each other. We're becoming so ignorant...I don't know if we can come back from this.
Wednesday, July 8, 2015
That's an interesting thing to ponder. In order to have this authentic freedom you have to surround yourself with accepting and supportive people. Whether it be your friends or your significant other. You can get yourself into trouble when you try so hard to push these two when sometimes the fit clearly isn't there. I've learned that communication is key. You don't want to get lines crossed. And then at least, when you are trying to be you, the true you, there is no lost in translation. For the most part I have this. I'm weird. I'm okay with that. I color outside the lines. I always have. I'm that one friend you warn your parents about. Not really. I seem to do great with parents. Probably because while I am out there, I don't make trouble. Authentic freedom is a journey. Appreciate the journey.
Tuesday, July 7, 2015
I'll be the first to tell you that I am not one to talk when it comes to being in perfect shape. I have a long long long long ways to go. However, I make an effort. A conversation with a friend prompted me to get annoyed (not at friend) but at anyone who doesn't put an effort. Then, what's the point? It doesn't have to be the best....just have it be your best. Whatever it is you're going after. Whether it's friendship, relationship, personal improvement on a physical, emotional,mental, or spiritual level you keep going forward in some sense or another. I had a friend like that once. It was frustrating that they didn't want to improve. It reminded me of an old Ellen episode. When she had some sitcom and the guy just wanted to deliver pizzas. I can understand that for some happiness doesn't come from moving up on the ladder of success. Success isn't just from how much you're making. But you do have to make an effort to move forward. Mine comes from helping Jeremy do that. Mine comes from improving my purpose. For example, I am hoping to get back into volunteering. It's moving forward. It's making an effort. That's just my take.
Monday, July 6, 2015
Friday, July 3, 2015
Sometimes when my the world in my head seems chaotic, all I need to remind myself is that he's there. He's your partner in crime He's your best friend. He's got your back. I get too crazy in my head. His solution? What's our next adventure? My moods are all over the place. He just handles them like one big adventure.