Wednesday, May 31, 2017
I happened to check my audience numbers, here and there. I have a spike in UK followers. I just want to let you know you've been on my mind. I'm so sorry for your losses. But you're not alone. It breaks my heart each time I see such horror like the attack you received. There is a quote that Mr. Rogers has that explains when he was a boy and saw scary things, his mother would always point out, "Look for the helpers. YOu will always find people who are helping". So instead of focusing on the coward(s), I salute those who helped and continue to. I pray for the families who lost loved ones. And while it's not much, I'm giving you a virtual hug...right now. Prayers and positive thoughts.
In 2 days, one of the lovies is graduating. Ready or not, it's happening. I am excited for this new chapter. But part of me is not ready for this chapter to be over. I've often thought of what it would feel like being the mom of a high school graduate. Old. lol I feel old. But proud. I feel so proud of the individual Lovie1 has become. Work is great. "Clare" ended her therapy today but still wants me to stay on as her caregiver. Jeremy is still studying. Not much else. Just wanted to update you. I'm enjoying blogging about the quotes, btw. I just figured I would blog about the quotes and every once in a while, just let you know I'm doing ok. Until next time!
Sunday, May 28, 2017
I wished I had stayed in my costume but it was too hot. This picture was taken after I found the other booth at lunch
Hot damn!!! She looks amazing. Look at the smile on my hubby's face lol Definitely one of my favorite pictures
I love Unicorns and this business cracked me up. It's artwork of different characters killing unicorns. I put down its head getting severed by Doctor via an accidental door close of the Tardis. Yes. I am disturbed. I did that because the Doctor doesn't kill. Yes. I am disturbed. lol
Yesterday was so much fun. Jeremy and I went as the 11th Doctor and River Song. My husband was a little celebrity. It was so cute. I was amused that no one really knew whom I was. I had the outfit on but I don't have curls. I didn't sell it well, I suppose. That was okay. I love taking all the pictures. We got there about 10ish? We went with DA and "L" again. Some of my favorite pictures included: Groot and I, Belle and I, Snape and Jeremy(as Doctor Who) dueling it out, getting Snape and Sybill Trelawney, the Hufflepuff girl and I, Jeremy with the Dalek, and Me with the Tardis. It's safe to say I have a lot of favorites. I did get a little sick. The costume contest had strobe lights. I thought I did a good job of averting my eyes but I felt ill for a little bit when we went to Kimora, a place DA's friend owns. It's a good place. Here are the pictures.Oh! Here's a funny. Chris Kirkpatrick from NSYNC was next to Nick Carter from Backstreet Boys. I got more Kirpatrick because he had done other work but I was a little confused on Nick Carter. I had thought about getting Karen Gillian's photo op thing but I can't rationalize to myself paying a certain amount of money for a celebrity. Karen Gillian is Amy Pond and Nebula. Enjoy the pictures. We had so much fun.
Thursday, May 25, 2017
LIFE IS NOT MERELY TO BE ALIVE BUT TO BE WELL
I really enjoy introducing you, if I am, to new quotes and philosophers. It almost seems fitting for today. Jeremy pointed something out and I had to correct him. I mentioned it was the death anniversary of a friend who had committed suicide. He thought it odd that I, what he perceived, celebrated a morbid thing. I explained I don't so much celebrate as I do, acknowledge. We don't just want to exist in this world. We want to experience life at its fullest. And most often, with those who can truly appreciate experiences with us. I actually had trouble processing what the meaning was trying to convey. I imagine there is some liberty in how a quote can be interpreted. However, most of the times, the general message is conveyed to people. My happiest gain from living this life is sharing stories and hearing stories of how people got to Point A to Point B and the lessons they learned. Whether it's how they met, how they got into that career, the kind of people they met along the way, the struggles they have had. All of it. I learn so much from these stories. I don't want to merely exist. I want to experience life. I want to travel to places. I want to meet people with different perspectives. And that's what I do. And I do it with a partner in crime. That's the best part. Tomorrow is my 1 year work anniversary. What a milestone. This past year has been such an eye opener, in such a profound and good way. I can't wait to see what's in store for us. And myself.
Monday, May 22, 2017
YOU ARE THE ONE WHO CAN STRETCH YOUR OWN HORIZON
Funny enough, this quote jumps my mind into another quote of sorts. Basically, I have the power to write my narrative. Only for a long time, I didn't realize this. Amazing conversations yesterday with friends. I love being able to share ideas and perspectives with friends. We are different ages. Most times, Jeremy and I are older than our friends. It's not intentional. Just tends to happen. Back to the thought at hand. I have the power to write my narrative. The biggest part of my narrative that I wanted to convey was contribution. My constant question was whether I contributed good idea. Do my thoughts and values count for something was always a question that was never far from my mind. I second guess my thoughts. I dismissed that my idea or take on something was silly. And nowadays, maybe it is silly. And maybe for that moment, silly is exactly what is needed. Who knows? The point is, my thoughts mattered. It mattered that I shared my thoughts and values to people that cared to know. It mattered that I shared my thoughts and values to people who supported what I believed in. So, today...think about writing your narrative and what that means to you? What is the biggest message you want to convey?
Thursday, May 18, 2017
I miss you so much. You were always a fixture of my life. Of happiness that I had in my life. Spending those last moments with you, holding your hand, as you slipped away from this world, was probably one of the hardest moments to endure. But I didn't want to leave your sight. Thank you for waiting for me. Thank you for holding on just enough for me to get to you. I got the first flight out. It's been 15 years. It doesn't make it any easier. It was hard to endure again when I was holding Jeremy's Grandpa the same way. But I knew it was something I had to do. Jeremy had just gone back to work that Monday. I miss you so much. Tomorrow is your death anniversary. But somehow, today, it kinda of hit me as I was writing my blog. So I wanted to write into the void. My quiet spaces have lost loved ones. They understand missing someone so much. So...that's why I am writing to you and telling you I miss you so much. I wished you could have met Jeremy. You would have loved him. He's a pain in the ass but he is crazy about your granddaughter. Hope you're having fun in heaven or wherever you are. I hope you got to meet Aaron. I don't know what really happens to people who commit suicide. But I'd like to think they get a chance at heaven if they help out people on Earth. I love when you send me dimes. I loved how you told me every time I saw a dime you would be saying hello. I don't care that no one really believes that. I do. I love you and miss you. This was taken in 2001. I was graduating from college.
How we spend our days, is of course, how we spend our lives. She made a sentence so simple. And yet, so profound. It actually reminds me of something I inherited when my Grandma passed away. Tomorrow is her death anniversary. I miss her.
The quote was" Life is God's gift to us.
What we do with is our gift to God." (A.R. Bernard)
My spirituality has definitely evolved. Jeremy calls me a deist. I was comfortable with that label. Especially since I didn't want a label on my spirituality. Some days, God is God. And other days, God is Universe, a Goddess of sorts. Back to today's quote. It does encompass what we decide to put on our energy into. Negative? Anger? Instead, we can spend our day in joy and in happiness. And in the positive. It was a conversation I had some time ago that reminded me to stay the course of positive even with a negative lining. Today, on my time line, I posted this odd quote of sorts. There is so much awful in the world. But if you look for it, there is much beauty and wonderful in the world. Glass half empty or half full? Just making room for more vodka! Inspiration can come anywhere, everywhere. Just gotta look for it. Now, where's that cinnamon vodka again? You know me and comic relief. The inspiration today came in the form of one of my former classmates and friends fighting in stage 3 cancer. She had posted a picture of herself bald. What a ballsy and wonderful move. I even used the f word without bleeping it. But the inspiration also came the other day with a former classmate of mine revealing the two year anniversary of her rape in a post. It was set as a poem. We can stay in the negative. We can stay in the angry. It's much harder to stay in the positive. But we're strong. We embrace our colorful lives and its many ebbs and flows of life. The Aviators by Helen Jane Long is on. We accept certain realities in our lives. We figure out what we can live with. What we can live without. Sometimes that also means whom. We find out deal breakers for ourselves and for others towards us. We find out about ourselves. We discover just how resilient we are. Or aren't. There is another story of not being resilient. And what that means for those around them. But that's another story. It's important how we spend our days. I hope we spend it well.
Tuesday, May 16, 2017
It's beautiful and interesting that of the many gifts I got from a loved one, one was a grumpy cat book and also a guided journal. But also a little booklet called, "Letters to my Future Self". Each year on August 1st I find something courageous to do or at least something out of my comfort zone. However, I might change it up a bit and include adventures with writing of sorts. I think I will start the book on August 1st of this year and open it up next year. A year of where I directly can say I started healing. This past August I became whole in the most unexpected way. By facing Javier. This next year can be about being whole, just by learning each day the power of healing. Next year, I can reflect upon it. Just last night, I had a conversation online with another survivor( a friend from high school.) It was the first time I had openly commented and identified Javier in any way. That was a step. I don't need to plaster his name. Just my quiet way of educating the public, advocating for survivors, and sharing my courage is enough. Sometimes, even just providing inspirational quotes and funny stuff is a way to be courageous. I show the world that this one thing did not define me. It's a big step for a survivor. It was helpful to learn my friend's story too so that I could relate or connect with it. It's not easy to choose to rise above the pain. And some days I find my inner demons winning a little more than I want. But between Jeremy, my support system, work, blogging, and other outlets, I find peace.
Monday, May 15, 2017
That is the first quote that I got to see. It' from Andy Offut Irwin. It seems so simple...and yet so profound. It was one of the Mother's Day gifts I got yesterday. What a day. It was so personal. And sentimental. It kind of overwhelmed me, honestly. This weekend, in general was needed. I was exhausted from working so much last week. But it was all worth it to see the smiles on Mother's Day. Eventide by Michael Hoppe is on. Back to the quote. It seems so simple. But it struck a chord in me. Maybe because I'm partial to the word Amazing. Encouraging words are so vital. But it's important to start seeing the words for ourselves before wanting to see or hear them from other people. I learned that the hard way. These days, I look for the words myself that reaffirm this amazing person I am. It's not conceitedness. It's many years of not being able to believe those words. Don't be afraid to be Amazing. You are truly a gift to this world. If only you get to see the special qualities you bring to this world. If there is only one time you get to see those words, then here they are....DON'T BE AFRAID TO BE AMAZING. Go be the hero I know and the world knows you can be. Go be the kind of person this world needs right now. We all have something to contribute to the world. We just need to find it within ourselves. And maybe, just maybe it comes with a nudge.
Thursday, May 11, 2017
You little badass. When did you grow balls? Sometimes you (me?) surprise me with how well you handle possible stressful situations. I mean...after all...you used to be little Mrs. anxiety ball. You don't feel the anxiety like you used to. There are days that it likes to pop up. There are days that certain things, memories, or people can run rampant on possible triggers. Especially in the way of having to stand up for yourself. You go with your bad self. I'm proud of you. You amaze me. And instead of having to praise or blame an aspect...it's all you. Or me.... lol
Yes. I do talk to myself. I even answer myself. Am I crazy? Of course, I am. I'm just the good kind of crazy. The kind that you love having around lol
What a day! My job is never boring. And if it is, it is to recharge for days, like today. Each client comes with different needs to be met. It's a balance on what they want versus what they need with many times relying on feedback, updates, or tips from family members. I was a fill in for clients I had before. At times, can be stressful but nothing I can't handle. My new thing is if I can handle that one incident, I can handle anything. And between work and the client, I got feedback of doing a great job and exactly what I needed to do. It's funny knowing that I am right on point. Because before I would be running around in my head worrying whether I was doing a good job or not. But I still needed a Starbucks after that!!! Mama deserved it. And it's Happy Hour until Sunday so perfect timing as soon as I got off work. I love my job. It takes a certain patience with it. I'll tell you that. But I love my job. Every time I am working, I know I help people. I make a difference. And something about helping the elderly just makes it so meaningful.