Thursday, July 6, 2017
So I heard back from the exam. I went today for my follow up and I need a follow up in 6 months. That was code for "if there was something really wrong, the doctor would've had you schedule with your doctor". At least that's what the radiology technician said. I admit. I was a little nervous. Especially, when the technician had to come back 2 more times to take the exam. I had an ultra sound and another mammogram. Yah to being 40. Just because seemed like a great reason to make Lasagna and cheesecake swirl. Plus, we're having "Ethan" for a week. Jeremy has his training all next week. They're 14 hours. Craziness. And then, next week is his test. It's crazy to imagine where I was a year ago today. I was a mess. I was figuring out my healing. I was dealing with the healing along with what I call rehealing. Pain is still pain. But after a while, time does heal wounds. What's helped me heal from the biggest pain was learning how to disconnect. It doesn't mean I don't acknowledge it happened. But I wanted to have a life where I could function, even with that knowledge running around. And somehow, I thought I was holding the pot together. But I was bubbling up for a catastrophe. And it was okay to fall apart. And to fall again. I learned how to live again. I learned how to really live.