One step closer

It's a strange thing happening, right now.  Jeremy got his dream job.  He's always wanted to work for a certain company.  And Viola...now, he is.  The look on his face is priceless.  And he made my dream come true.  I finally acknowledged my dream.  I want to be a photographer.  I've been afraid to say it because I wasn't even sure I was good enough.  But right now, it's not about being professional.  Right now, it's about honing my skill and developing my artistry.  And Jeremy is in full support of this.  That is such an amazing feeling.  Like any couple, Jeremy and I have had our share of struggles.  Especially the last couple of years.  But we evolved and learned from our mistakes, together.  That was always the goal...together.  We figure it out, together.  We're family to each other.  We're partners in life.  Forget even being husband and wife...we're partners.  Why did I start this blog? At the time, I was struggling with my trauma with the rape.  It was a sense of therapy for me to write my thoughts down.  Now, it's to write a journey for you.  A journey of healing.  A journey about evolving with someone you love.  A journey about self discovery.  And somewhere, along the lines, maybe you learn from my journey.  Maybe you find your own journey by reading my thoughts.  One step closer to dreams.  It's surreal to say that for both of us.  But that's where we are.

Vacation

Jeremy came home for the holidays.  It was wonderful having him home.  On to a new adventure.  It's amazing where we were almost a year ago, right now.  Jeremy was still at his old job.  He would still be feeling stifled.  I can see how happy he is, moving forward.  I'm proud of him.  I'm proud of us.  He got me my birthday gift, early.  I'm so excited.  I can't wait to take pictures.  I'm grateful that I have a flexible enough job to be able to quite assignments. What an interesting time in our lives.  I can't wait for the next chapter.

Decompress the stress away

It has been a day of self-love and self-care, this week.  I have done a lot of it, this week.  I realized I was under much stress.  How much? I have PCOS.  I basically have to induce a cycle through birth control.  The previous assignment was ughs.  I have no words for it.  I gave it a real go at it.  But...noooooo. I was given an opportunity to leave early.  I took it.  This week has been glorious. 
But I had a cycle.  That's how stressed out I was.  Most of the time, my assignments are amazing.  But they can't all be perfect.  I've taken nature walks that I like calling Nature therapy.  I went to the Museum.  I went to the Botanical Garden.  I'm discovering my city.  I'm enjoying being behind the lens.  I love developing my artistry.  I love reading up on different things with Photography.  I'm reading three different books, right now, from the library.  Tomorrow, I have an online tutorial I am registered for.  It's a great feeling.  I feel ....I can't even describe the feeling.  This is a passion.  This makes me feel alive.  Learning about it makes me feel amazing.  There is so much to learn.  And I love the community that is the Photographers, online.  What a great group of people.  I feel connected.  That's the feeling I have.  I feel so...connected.  I have been caught up with Photography, I have slacked on my binging. lol.  It was a decompress the stress away day.  I had a Pedicure and Massage. today.  I do my own manicure.  Again, self care.  I love Museums.  They are my kind of Me day.  But never underestimate the power of pampering oneself.  Time for bed.  Life is good.  I take one day at a time.  I enjoy the moment, within the moment.  I reflect a lot, these days.  I have more time for it, now lol.  I don't imagine that this is a permanent situation for Jeremy and I.  But it works for us, right now.  We appreciate each other, so much.  I can't wait to see him in a few days!!!!

Poetry in Pictures

It was cold and dreary out.  I got lost, in the best possible way

Developing my artistry...with the help of Pumpkin Spice

Creating poetry, in nature

I haven't been to the Botanical Garden since....well...I don't know when.  I've been reading some photography books.  And it mentioned taking pictures in different weather conditions.  It's a dreary day out, today.  That seems fitting since Stan Lee passed away, today. Sadness. 
I got lost, in the best possible way.  I walked around in this place that I couldn't believe was in park or museum of sorts, in a city.  It felt like a Jack Frost poem.  It felt amazing to be taking pictures and enjoying nature.  It was creating poetry, in nature, through my lens.  What an experience.  Imagine how I will feel with a DSLR if I'm feeling this with my Coolpix. 

Museum as a Me day

What a perfect day Friday was.  I went to the McNay museum.  I happily get lost in a museum.  I decided to take my camera with me.  I struggled with my flash setting.  Luckily, I made a new friend who helped me with that.  I even got a wonderful conversation about shadows out of if.  It reminded me of a commercial about beer, ironically enough, that stated how we had more in common than differences.  Thank you, Guinness.  I also received good news, that day.  I had a lot of time to reflect on things.  I reflected on my growth as a person.  I have evolved so much since Jeremy left officially, in March for his job.  For now, Jeremy visits more than lives here.  And that's okay.  It's our reality but it's not permanent.  It's for a good cause.  It's for our family.  Sacrifices need to be made.  And strangely enough, it's made us a stronger couple.  We're solid.  We miss the little things about each other.  We miss routine.  So when he does get to visit, that's exactly what we happily fall into, our old routine.  It feels kinda sexy, if I'm being upfront with you.  Don't ask me how to explain that one.  I learning about myself during this time.  I'm finding myself.  Beginning this photography journey and developing my artistry has been euphoric, really.  I feel so alive behind a lens.  I feel so much myself figuring out a shot.  Whether I'm doing it through my phone or my camera.  I'll be getting a DSLR for my birthday.  For now, I am happy learning settings and lighting from my Nikon Coolpix.  Plus, I get such satisfaction from developing my artistry through my pages.  It makes me so happy.  And keeps me busy.  I like Museum as Me days.  I plan to go to the other museums.  I also want to explore a little out of San Antonio.  There is an adventurous side to me on this.  Lullaby for Grown Ups by Liquid Mind is on. 

Representation

That was the takeaway from the election.  I saw rainbow.  I saw representation.  I also saw hope for bipartisan ship.  I saw progress.  Slow and steady progress, but still, progress was seen. 

Your voice

Your voice matters.  There's not a lot I want to get political about.  I have my views.  And they are not necessarily anti anyone.  It's just a matter of being an advocate for human rights. 
Today matters. 

quietspaces2018

I have created a blog.  Apart from this one.  I call it quietspaces2018.
I don't know if I will continue with this blog or not.  I will, however, be writing on that one, more often.  I am so excited to be on this journey.  I feel like I'm finding myself.

A walk in the park

I rent a camera this weekend that was comparable to the one I'll get for my birthday.  I wanted to get a feel for the settings, lighting, and other variables.  I am so happy behind a lens.  As I was walking and exploring the park, I felt such a euphoria.  I am starting this photography journey from the ground up.  While I am more experienced than I give myself credit for, there is a freedom and a sense of integrity from starting from the ground up.  I am finding myself through photography.  It has always been there...the passion, the love of photography.  But this time I am confident in my eye for it.  I am confident in this journey and path I am taking.  There isn't a right or wrong on this path.  There is only learning.