I'm doing this

The whole experience of enrollment was surreal.  It was nice to share the experience with Kailyn, a fellow classmate.  We were so excited. I can't tell you the different emotions I am going through right now.  They range from excitement to fright.  This is a dream come true.  And I couldn't have done with without Jeremy.  Jeremy is amazing.  He is such a supportive person.  He's my best friend...he's my...I don't have the words. He gets me.  The man gets me.  He accepts the insane person that is his wife.....and loves her despite that....and because of that.  That is incredible knowledge to have.

Being comfortable in my skin

Perhaps I get too comfortable in my skin. My personality is over the top. I'm loud. I'm not what you would call timid. I'm overwhelming to some...I'm sure. For that...I'm sorry that I am......to a point. I leave you w all sorts of warning labels about me. I'm crazy. But I love that about me. I certainly make you smile or laugh. ...sometimes w me...sometimes at me. I really don't care. I'm too happy to get scared of being judged. I wouldn't have it any other way.

New experience

I'm always up for new experiences.  By chance I received tickets to attend an event at Witte. Great food. Good entertainment. ....and it included me belly dancing!  What an experience! This is a night to remember. 

Stream of thought....on crack

I literally forgot to post.  It happens. I will not "pounce" on myself for forgetting.  It happens.  It is not the end of the world. It's not like I'm a fashion blogger. That would be nice.  People coming to me for advice regarding their representation. I have fashion sense and they are looking towards me for the guidance. And...then I woke up.  I wonder how many fashion bloggers were at Fashion week.  Anyways, I'm also not an advice blogger. I'd love to be that.  But really...in the grand scheme of things I wouldn't be able to help.  I mean...who do I think I am....Dear Abby?! I miss Dear Abby.  I used love reading her column.  I digress.  And what does one blog about really? Politics? Values? Beliefs? I'm curious to know how many blogs exist and what do they entail. I mean...how does one get into professional blogging? Wouldn't that be something? Jess Kearney...professional blogger.

Title schmitle

I got to pay it forward today. It wasn't much. It was a cup of coffee. But it is so meaningful to me.  My mind is in several places at once.  I also finally got the guts to delete people off my facebook.  Why would I have trouble deleting people I am not fond of? I have issues...really I do.  In any case...to end on a positive note...I had a good day. Lunch with a friend and coffee.  And then a great conversation with another friend.  Today was just off in terms of perkiness. I was happy...but I was grumpy? NO...never..Not perky? Perhaps that was it.

Hoping for the best

So Jeremy is saying okay to massage school.  I am so excited! However, I am from the school of thought that when I am in the class...I am really in massage school. Things happen. I would understand. But things happen and that would temporarily put a speedbump to my dream.  So...just taking one day at a time.  Looking at supplies. Looking at scrubs.  Looking at book prices.  Again...hoping for the best.

Teamwork

Had a conversation last night that really reasonated with me. It's two of us now. Decisions we make hopefully take into consideration that we are a couple.  Anyways,  I like the idea of looking at things that way. It came from wondering the intentions of a someone and whether they were capitalizing on the personality I have. I wasn't mad...but...it didn't make me happy either.

Attention Attention Attention

As much fun as being a celebrity sounds...it really seems rather frightening.  People watching your every movie...ready to approve or for that matter not approve of your every move.  Your looks fade eventually so hopefully...in that fleeting time one calls a career talent has been amassed.  Strange part is I've been accused of being an attention hog.  I don't meant to put spotlight on myself.  I just have a grandiose sense of things. I usually attribute to overcompensating for things.  I actually think one day I will experiment and see if my personality allows me to just be.  Part of me thinks I can't pull it off.  Again...I don't mean to be that way.  I just have a larger than life personality.  I'm crazy...I'm loud.  Is it possible to tone things down? I think I would like to see if I can.  Where did all of this come from? From watching a movie, of course.  I go off on tangents. My mind has a wonderful imagination...and well it likes to run away with itself.

Blocking creative thoughts

You ever notice when you are sick....that when you are sick...your creative "mojo" seems to be at a standstill? My head doesn't feel clear.  It's enough to figure the breathing part because I'm stuffy at times. It's mostly been the sore throat that brings me the most problems.  I'm not complaining by all means.  I would much rather have this than have had an episode or epileptic attack.  But it does have a sense of annoyance that I can't do things that I want because my body is holding me back.  In any case...I sense I am closer to the end part of being sick. Our weekends are getting packed again as they usually do during the winter time.  So I will need to recharge my body and rest more so I can keep up!

Your own pace

Sometimes I'm the energizer bunny. I can go a mile a minute. Then, other times I am too sick to move. It can be frustrating because I like keeping busy. So I have found a pace to go by. And when I feel guilty for not doing more I remind myself that for health reasons I pace myself. Intellectually,  I know I'm doing my best. Emotionally,  I find myself scolding myself for not pushing through.  Luckily,  I remind myself my limits.  I'm not super woman. I'm grateful that Jeremy understands this and doesn't expect anything.  For that reason I want to do more.  He's amazing.  I am so lucky to have him.

Family trip

What an amazing trip. Grandma Freda had tons of photo albums. I felt like a kid in a candy shop. All these memories of Jeremy's family past...and then his own past. I saw baby pictures!  I saw pictures of him and Jess where they practically look like twins. It was such a memorable trip. So much happened.

Memories

Memories are always important to make.  You make them at the most random moments.  You meey people along the way and sometimes they create part of the memory.  Memories can sometimes be very painful.  However,  it helps to create new memories. It helps when these replace the negative ones. It's almisy a feeling of second chances. 

Hear me roar

Ok. So I've heard the "Roar" song several times but today....today I was jamming out like a sassy 20s. Some days I just feel the sass in me and well...I go w my bad self. I love these days. And I saw a post from a friend that lost her sass today. I hope she gets it back cause sass is beautiful.

Awesome debates

I love debates w Jeremy.  They can be random. They are usually intellectually stimilating. They can be funny.  These are the moments I cherish.

Pets

This is dedicated to my friend,  Lisa Davila.  I'm so sorry

What is with Twerk and Swag?

What is it about these words that irk me? I mean once used to mean dirty dancing or booty shaking.  The other just meant some sort of charm or charisma. Where did these words matriculate into our mainstream and pollute our vocabulary.  It seems cool.  It seems the "in" thing.  On same level I get that.  But on most levels I don't.  I mean...being unique has flair,  Granted...blending in means you won't get bullied.  Then again..people are creative on what they decide is reason to bully.  I mean...it makes you wonder where their self esteem is.  So for me...I bid you goodbye. So glad those words do not exist in my world.

Games

Playing a game that is way over my head.  It's a lot to take in. I like learning.  I like to be challenged...so in a way... I'm a glutton for punishment.  Least I get to spend time w my husband.  And obe of my best friends.  This feels like Magic....squared.

The hope that planets align

I really hope the planets align. I really want to go back to school.  One of my dreams was to receive my master's in psychology. And I did that.  I never really wanted to admit it but becoming a massage therapist was a dream.  That may seem odd to some.  But when you know you are really amazing something and you have a passion for it...it sort of lends itself to a desire to want to pursue it.  For me, for many years I did not have the confidence to say it was something I really wanted to do.  Now, at the stage I am in my life I have more confidence.  Jeremy has almost everything to do with that.  He is so supportive and amazing. Don't get me wrong. He has his a**hole moments. But they are few and far between.  He's my best friend.  He gets me.  And I have my b*tch moments so it's only fair. It's a balance! So let's see how the things turn out.  Let's see how things will unfold.  I'm excited about the future.

Did I ever tell you?

Did I ever tell you I wanted to be a choreographer.  Now as the universe and fate would have it I did not become that.  Sometimes not fulfilling a dream because a dream come true.  I love dance. I always have.  Since I was a little girl I wanted to dance.  As fate would have it my future would include sports...and I was damn good at it.  But I always thought of dance. Where is this conversation leading ..you ask? As I was watching "So you think you can Dance" last night I was watching these dancers with awe...not envy.  I love hearing their stories on how they got to this point in their career. The passion...the joy of dancing.  It's indescribable.  I am not a professional dancer.  However, I know the happiness I get when the music takes over me.  During my single days I would go to the club and dance for 5 straight hours.  It was an intoxicating feeling.  I watch these individuals with the style they bring and I smile.  I'm living vicariously through these people.  And I thank them.  Their dream is my dream.  That sounds strange.  But I feel like a dream still lives on because they are dancing. So visible that people are taking notice of...dance.  That's a wonderful thought.

Monday entry...late

The labor day weekend was great! We started out great by having drinks with friends.  Of course, being older we can only handle so much "night light".  The older you get the more you can't do 3 am in the morning.  We have moments where we can pull it off.  But I try not to push it with my Epilepsy,  One of my best friends got engaged over the weekend. I am so happy for her.  Jeremy bailed out of the social with my permission. I am becoming more involved with my community.  So I wanted to make an appearance at the social.  We had an out of town guest so I understood him wanting to bail out.  Plus, my anti social husband..was being...anti social. lol Oh well.  We can't all being social butterflies like me.

Busy days

Busy day.  Which is why today is a rest day.  I might paint my table. I might not.  I can't tell at this point. I had a great swim yesterday.  Trying to get back into the swing of things.  With Jeremy not being my exercise partner I sometimes lack discipline.  It's not that he was the disciplined one.  However, I noticed I was more likely to be consistent with him around.  Again, it was really nice going swimming. My glamorous life. lol