Distract with pictures

This was on my walk, today

We had breakfast together, sort of lol This is mine

This is his

He has my heart

I love this picture of us

I miss him like crazy

Distractions

That's what I've been trying to have while Jeremy is out of town.  I miss him like crazy.  I went on a hour walk, today.  I've been ready.  Today,  "Ethan" and I are going to the movies and then, dinner afterwards.  I've been making plans with friends.  Last night, maybe because of the coffee I drank.  Or maybe because of the disruption on Thursday with Video chat going wonky on Jeremy and I, I was in a funk.  The Video chat looks like it got resolved.  Those video chats are everything to me, right now.  I got Jeremy's birthday card.  I'll be sending it out today.  I also am sending some pictures of the kids and I to his address.  It's a small birthday gift.  His birthday celebration is on pause.  When he gets back, we will live it up.  I have family stuff on both sides of the family.  That's a little surreal to say.  But if feels good to say that.  Distractions help me get through the day faster.  Work has also been great to distract me. I'm getting through it. 

The new normal

Not having him here is my new normal.  I miss him like crazy.  Video chats are my sanctuary, now.  I look forward to those all day.  I keep myself busy.  Today was my day off so I got coffee with CC.  "Ethan" and I had Greek pizza for lunch.  Bring Him Home from the Les Miserables soundtrack is on.  I am tearing up.  lol It's funny.  Sometimes, I find a song at the right moment and it just fits with what I'm writing.  It's been a long week, emotionally.  But next week will feel more comfortable since it is my new normal.  And maybe by then, we can find out exactly when he's coming home.  I think that's the hardest part.  Two weeks....Three months? Work is keeping me distracted, as well.  I did some training last night.  My evaluation is coming up in a couple of months.  I can't believe I've been with the company for almost 2 years.  That's crazy.  I really appreciate my work.  They understand limits with my condition and work with me.  That's about it.  Have a great day, quiet spaces

That's a first

That's a first.  We had storms, last night.  Usually, I am nervous, anticipating the storms.  I had other things on my mind.  Jeremy started a new job.  It started this past Monday.  This job comes with some traveling.  So Jeremy is out of town.  That was the big news I wasn't ready for.  It's surreal.  It's a new chapter.  I was ready for the new chapter.  But somehow, it was hard writing it down.  Making it real? I don't know.  I guess I wanted to make sure that everything went through before I mentioned it.  Like I would jinx it or something, lol lol Silly me.  I just needed some time before I said something.  I'm keeping busy, working.  I love my schedule, right now.  It's not certain.  But it looks promising that I will be "Mary's" new permanent assignment caregiver.  Things are still up in the air for her other caregiver.  We shall see.  In the meantime, I at least have my April filled up.  I've been working out doing the Just dance app.  It's a lot of fun! I get two tries on the game.  But I found them on youtube so I used those to do two extra dance times.  4 songs seems to be a good amount of dancing.  Aquarius by Anugama is on. I miss Jeremy.  But I understand this comes with the job.  It's a move forward.  Here's to a new chapter. 

Working

I've been working a lot so it's been hard to sit down and blog.  Besides work, I still got wifely things to do and when I'm not doing either, napping has been my favorite thing.  Honestly, I see it as medicine.  My schedule seems more consistence even though I don't really have a permanent assignment.  I had two days, two clients.  I had a Tuesday and a Wednesday but my Wednesday wasn't always consistent.  So now, I seem to have a MWF and a Tuesday.  It's a great schedule I have.  Later on down the road I may tell you about some big news in my world.  But I am not ready to share just yet.  It's a good thing.  It's just I'm not ready.  That's about it.   I hope you are doing well, my quiet spaces.  Be kind to each other.

Ruth Ann Schabaecker

Beyond the Moment by Patrick Oh'Hearn is on.  It seems fitting for today's quote.

EACH DAY COMES BEARING ITS OWN GIFTS. UNTIE THE RIBBONS

-Ruth Ann Schabecker

Sometimes, some days are better than others if you're going through an ordeal.  Sometimes, the days seem to overlap you don't know where one ends and begins.  Some days just don't have that feeling of excitement or happy like they used to be.  This quote reminds me of how each day gifts us with a new opportunity to learn and in some cases, heal.  Untie the ribbon.  See how this day will be a gift to you.  This was the quote I had planned the other day.  

Also, while I am on only child, I do consider some of my friends' children.  I lost nephews some years ago.  I gained more nieces.  But in this case, since the beginning, there are two girls that I have always seemed as my nieces.  And yesterday, while I was spending some time with their mom, a beautiful thing happened.  They drew my necklace.  It's the Tardis in Starry Night.  I had just come from work.  I had worn in to work.  Also, I have been playing around with my new phone an its camera feature.  A friend of mind helped me figure out the filters on it.  

This is my favorite.  It's also my cover picture right now on Facebook

The younger one drew this one

It was Pi day, yesterday

Both of them worked on this one

I had the quote ready

I had my blog entry ready.  I had the quote.  Then, as I'm writing, I'm not feeling i,  today.  Not necessarily because I'm in a mood.  Just that it doesn't seem the day to write about that quote.  Strange, huh? So, I'm at a loss to write.  That's a first! Perhaps, I'll talk about appreciation.  It's something that has made me smile with more than one person.  It's different types of appreciation.  But the gist is patience with each other.  Kindness about each other's space and time.  In a world, where it's not just automatic, it's nice to be able to acknowledge that with people. Especially those  that mean the most to you.  Peace by Eric Harringer and John Paul Lacey is on.  I hope today you acknowledge to someone how much you appreciate their patience with you or that they understand your schedule doesn't always align with theirs.  And yet, they understand.  That is a gift to have.  Someone like that.  Lucky for me, I have more than one person like that. 

This

I had a quote lined up for today's blog.  Suddenly, I wanted to blog about this picture.  I took it because I was inspired.  1) I had been inspired to pay attention more to the outside since a friend of mine sends me pictures.  I love photography.  Probably why I love Instagram so much.  There are times that I don't post certain pictures to Facebook.  They seem more Instagram worthy.  This one, I did post to both.  But more to inspire a larger group of people.  I felt inspired.  I looked at this picture and just felt...inspired.  Happy.  Heartmelt. Longing for Paradise by Eric Harringer and John Paul Lacey is on.  How fitting.  Again, I just felt inspired.  So, here is the picture.  I hope it inspires you, quiet spaces.  This.  This right here.  I felt inspired to take it all in.

Approach

I have a couple instances this week where my patience felt tested.  The first one was a personal conversation that went south.  I inserted my personal experience regarding a very hot issue these days and suddenly felt attacked.  Now, here's a tricky thing about me with feeling verbally attacked.  1) I've already had an episode where someone did that.  They weren't even directing it at me.  I just felt like the proxy punching bag. 2) The older I am getting, the more I have no energy to fight.  It drains me when I fight like that.  It drains me when I have an emotional experience like that, if that makes sense.  Luckily, afterwards, the person actually came back to check if I was okay and apologized to me.  I told them I had to take a walk because I could feel my nerves. Autumn by Ryan Stewart is on.
Anyhoo, in the end, I walked away feeling better about how they approached me.  I didn't like how they started with me on that conversation.  But I did like they way they ended.  I am grateful to Jeremy for helping me learn to argue more effectively.  His debates were frustrating but it also taught me to look for more support and evidence.  If I am going to argue something, be prepared to back it up.  Secondly, I don't mind debating with someone.  I might gain different perspective.  But don't "yell" at me.  Even your passionate side can affect someone like me.  The second instance was Wednesday.  I don't have a boss but if I did, bosslady called me.  That didn't sound good.  She gave me the gist but since I was at work, told me to come in.  Now, personally I felt the conversation warranted a phone call.  But okay.  No set time.  Just come in.  When I called to go, she wasn't there.  So I killed two hours but I felt frustrated.  However, another person, who I don't think is a bosslady but certainly had the authority to talk to me, took over.  She was thorough on what I was "goofing" up on.  I was educated about it.  I didn't feel in trouble.  It won't happen again.  It was all about the approach.  I thank alternative boss lady that she knew me well enough to know if I wasn't educated, I didn't know I was doing wrong.  I didn't have it on my record.  It was just a consultation.  All that stress before the meeting did get me going.  I don't have real cycles.  With my PCOS, it's been like this since I was 29.  Sure, it sounds great...but really, my body doesn't work right and my hormones get out of wack.  Think of it as menopause having a little sister.  I don't get hot flashes.  I don't think.  That two weeks ago episode might have been one.  But other than that, I don't get hot flashes.  I do get hot easily.  While it seems I am a diva with AC, it's actually me getting my hormones in balance.  I am on birth control.  But it's medicine for me to induce a phantom cycle.  So I go through the cramps but I don't actually have a cycle.  Unless I stress myself out.  That apparently, is the case of yesterday.  So I am on my cycle.  Yah.  lol

On to other news,
Jeremy got a new job!He'll be putting his two week's notice in today.  He does some traveling with this job.  But I am used to that.  The job he had while we were dating was similar to this one.  I am so proud of him.  Onto a new chapter.  His birthday is next month so I'm organizing a little thing for him.  No surprises.  He knows about it.  It's especially important now so he can hang out with his work friends.  They are a close bunch.  I know they are going to miss him.  And he's going to miss them.  That's about it.  I have some time before I get ready for work.  I worked a lot this week that I am only working two days next week.  But one day is my long day.  Have an extraordinary day.  And if not, hope you make it extraordinary.  Because you are. 

Busy week

It's going to be a busy week.  I'm working all week except for Thursday, because I have lunch with Jeremy.  I start my one day new assignment.  Technically, at this point, I have 3 clients.  I'll have two clients that I only have once a week.  And "Mary" whom I have, unofficially.  Just wanted to say hi.  I hope you have a spectacular day, quiet spaces.  As my co worker says, " Make it a great one".