Changing a perspective

I didn't know I was going to enjoy being an housewife.  Granted, I would like to have a part time job to be able to go somewhere. I like feeling useful and having to be accounted for somewhere.  At the same time, I don't know when my condition strikes and that creates a problem.  It's a strange place to be.  I'm limited but not disabled.  It's all wibbly wobbly.  Yet, I struggle to keep a full time job.  I always felt my foot was one foot out the door fearing getting fired.  You're supposed to be protected but the reality is some companies don't care. They want results and outcomes.  So here I am.  It's a change in a perspective for me.  I still study for my MBLEX.  But I don't know when I'll take it. And then, what? I want to have positive outlook on the test and believe I will pass. I study.  But part of me is trying to be realistic.  So far I haven't.  I feel bad for Jeremy.  And yet, somehow he feels spoiled and lucky.  Suddenly, my feelings of failure are removed because I succeeded in my marriage.  Marriage isn't easy.  It takes work.  However, that consistency is the beauty.  That's where it doesn't have to be a chore.  There is constant communication. We compromise.  We're a team.  I don't know where my future lies professionally.  But on a personal level I live each life grateful.  Sometimes success doesn't come in a dollar sign.  Sometimes it's being that person that people seek. Sometimes it's being the person that changes and influences.