Running through my head

My thoughts mess with me. It's my nature to have my thoughts do that. The good thing is having a support that understands my footing is not going to always be good. I'm not always going to stick the landing. And that's ok. It's ok to ask for help...or a hug...or vent...or just be there. See...the thoughts again.  Part of ne asks how did I deserve this. But that's years of being rejected by certain individuals. Old habits die hard. Then, other parts go...why the hell not???! I'm an amazing person to have and to be in someone's life? This validation project. It's a work in progress. I'm even learning to do it with Jeremy. Respect his opinion. But don't blundly follow or do....just because someone said it. Three words to remember...in your opinion. Aaron and I had a long discussion once about that. Tangent. Sorry. These are the thoughts running today. It's probably due to being my Grandma 's birthday and sgoing to see her...and the other thing. If you're reading and don't get it it's ok. Pass along. If you do...you understand the thoughts. The feeling. Just everything.  It never really leaves. I guess the psychology of surviving. I looked at a magazine covet...the one regarding Bill Cosby...and I felt chills. Powerful  image.....
All sorts of things...running through my head.