History

I don't know the secret to a happy marriage.  I can only tell you what I have learned being married to Jeremy.  And for that married being married to Woody.  I can't really count Javier because it was a sham.  Long story.  Back to Woody since he is what I consider my first husband.  I learned the beauty of history together.  Woody and I didn't court.  We didn't do anything.  If you think about it, we were dating while we were married.  As bizarre as that sounds I didn't get a healthy idea of what being married was about.  It might explain why I didn't want to pursue a long term relationship for awhile.  I wanted one.  But I wasn't emotionally ready for one.  I don't know if I was emotionally ready for one by the time Jeremy came along.  The good thing is that Jeremy saw something in us.  I envisioned it but I don't know if it was possible.  We seemed so different from each other.  I was intimidated by Jeremy's intelligence at the time.  This troubling factor comes from my relationship with Javier.  You hear constantly how you won't get anything better and you start believing it.  And by all standards, Jeremy surpassed Javier in so many ways that logic stuck.  Psychologically, your head space can screw with your mind. You constantly second guess yourself.  You look for validation a little too much.  You forget to consult within yourself and be confident of that answer.  But that's the beauty of the history with Jeremy.  He has taught me so much.  I have learned to love myself in a way that was healthy.  Jeremy is a wonderful teacher.  He gets into his element and it's beautiful to watch.  He is less obnoxious about things.  Either that or I look past the confidence and no longer see it as arrogance.  He thinks it's rose colored glasses.  I could buy that argument.  But our story is colorful.  I've had a crush on Jeremy since I met him.  He always fascinated me.  He also irritated me.  He seemed full of himself.  And somehow I felt he needed more humility.  That's where I come in.  My emotional intelligence allows him to see a purpose of where emotions and feelings do come in.  That sometimes all the facts and evidence in the world won't logically explain things.  Love would be an example.  By all accounts, on paper, Jeremy and I seem like an odd fit.  Yet, when it's the two of us it makes complete sense.  We complement each other.  I don't have an explanation for that.  Neither does he.  We just accept it.  We accept that not everything is going to have a neat answer.  Our history helps us to enjoy the couple side of us.  Because long time ago there was a friend side of us.  And that side has never left.  We are  Best friends.  We are partners in crime.  Whatever box you want to put us in.  We are partners in life on this journey.  We are adventurers on this crazy roller coaster.  It's hard to imagine anyone else in that seat.  History shouldn't be the only reason people stay together.  But it's a start.  Jeremy and I like each other.  It sounds strange to write but nowadays most couples don't like each other.  We enjoy each other's company.  We also enjoy our individuality and the need for space from one another.  It's a nice mix.  So my secret to a happy marriage is this.  Find your own secret.  Everyone is different.  There isn't one formula.  And don't confine yourself and compare.  What works for me in my marriage doesn't work for you.  And Vice Versa.  It's the many lessons I have learned along the way. I'm still learning......