When it's not just about winning

Winning has a form that feeds the ego.  I'm not going to lie and say that I don't enjoy winning myself.  However, with the losses and wins I have had in my life some of my best moments didn't include winning the game. It included so much more.  I remember a game where I was late to a game because of detention.  I got a moment where life stood still and I got to see what the crowd was waiting for...me.  I got to throw a half court shot in my life.  Who does that? I got to run past a first base man.  I got to point guard a "Cinderella" team and I wasn't even supposed to play.  My Dad just needed one more player.  Sports was a big part of my past.  Winning was nice.  But that's not what got me going.  It was the passion of the game.  It was the passion of Basketball.  It was the intensity of Track.  I played other sports but these two...these two fueled me in so many ways.  I was confused about a lot of things in my life.  My condition left me insecure about many things.  But on the court, or on the field...I was Jess. I got to chance to coach a team when I was 13.  My coach let me have the reins.  I got to run with the male runners.  I had a competitive spirit but I never wanted the ego of someone full of themselves because of winning.  It stayed with me in life.  I don't want to compete with others for success.  But I have to remind myself not to compare myself with failures either.  My failures are simply set backs.  I have developmental disability.  And yet...I have a Master's Degree in Psychology.  I don't have my Massage Therapy License and yet, I have people already believing in my abilities.  Even when I have it down wrong...I have it right because that passion is still there.  I want to do the best I can do.  Something about turning older is making me realize that I don't have to impress anyone.  It's taken this long to realize that.  I knew it intellectually.  But somehow my heart had lost the message.  I love the craziness that envelopes my life.  The good, the bad, and the weird.  It's what makes such an interesting life.  I love how life teaches me new lessons everyday. I will never try to stop learning.  I will always want to learn.  Why?...Because in life...the satisfaction of living a life of purpose is when it's not just about winning.