Growing old together

The more time Jeremy and I spend together as a couple solidifies such a bond that I only really have had with my mom...if that makes sense.  I have my friends but something about living with a person day in and day out...you see sides to people.  I have three previous experiences with living with a guy.  Rickard, Brad, and Woody.  Two have been boyfriends. One has been a husband.  All three said in some way I was difficult to live with.  That's a statement! What I have learned is compromise and partnership.  For all practical purposes Jeremy is the dominant partner.  But he doesn't conduct himself in such a way that I would recognize it as dominant.  He's more passive.  I believe I used to fight or go against the grain of an argument simply to argue.  These days I argue to convey my point, where I see the perspective or to point out another angle of things.  It might not even be up for debate.  I might be in complete agreement.  But it's good to have different perspectives.  I don't speak to Brad or Woody.  Those were the volatile relationships.  I felt like a prisoner of my own emotions.  Rickard and I were different.  If we were older we might have worked.  This relationship help me to understand certain aspects of my relationship now with Jeremy. We are friends now.  We have a unique perspective on relationships because we are friends and exes.  When that pattern has been set that I was difficult I didn't know what to make of it.  Jeremy has helped me to see I was a peg built from a square and trying to fit in a circle.  We are opposites.  Yet, we make it work.  We fought long ago.  It was messy and ugly.  It was almost the end.  That night we promised to show our feelings, to communicate better, to stick it out, and to have a better understanding of what we wanted from each other.  We still have spats.  But Jeremy understands emotional reasoning better and its place in the world.  I also understand where logic should go.  It's been an interesting compromise.  Jeremy doesn't spew out poems.  He doesn't go to see a romantic movie with me.  But when it comes to my birthday, our anniversary, and Mother's Day....he gets a card that conveys all that he has to say.  And he also writes in it.  With that, I leave little requests of what I want rather than expect him to know.  I don't need to nag anymore.  In fact, I leave little notes for myself now too since I am just as forgetful.  Living with Jeremy before we were married proved difficult at times because I wanted to be married.  That sometimes created tension.  We are married.  Unless one of us did something drastic, we are growing old together.  Granted, we don't know what the future holds.  But Jeremy and I both know we are a good pair together.  We are partners in crime.  We get each other's little things, the wonderful and annoying things.  A beautiful friendship only helps us to appreciate the company even more.  I realized a while back...I wasn't supposed to fit into those relationships.  I've only really had 5.  Which is strange.  I've had far more physical relationships than that.  But actual relationships...only 5.  And one or two is  is questionable.  Javier 5 1/2 years. Rickard 1 1/2 years Woody (no dating and married  1 year} Justin 4 months Brad 5 months Dirk...sighs I don't think I can count that but sure...we okay there was companionship with no physical.  And then Jeremy...6 1/2 years before marrying.  Breaking it down like that is interesting.