Peace

Losing someone is hard.  I was only an in law and have been lucky enough to be in this family for 10 years.  However, it did not lessen the blow of losing Grandpa Jim.  Much transpired from experiencing his passing.  I had a unique situation that I had experienced similar things with my own grandma.  The heartbreak of decisions. The hope of things going better for just a little while.  Saying goodbye is difficult. But if you have to say goodbye you don't want to be thinking of anything but the goal of that.  Gentiva provided that.  That place was God sent.  They not only took care of Grandpa Jim, they took care of us emotionally and spiritually.  In fact, at a certain point it's not about religion. It's about finding the peace of letting go.  It's finding absolution.  This experience was so many things.  I am honored that was there until the very end.  This is my family.  They may not be blood but they are my family.  I have such admiration and love for them.  I want to protect them.  I want to be there for them.  I want to help them.  It was a little overwhelming to have the type of love and acceptance I was receiving.  However, I've learned to open my heart up with Jeremy to receive it.  I just extended to more Kearney.  There is sense of peace from this experience. The loss is there.  We are morning and grieving for a man that bigger than life.  He was an extraordinary person.  His has a presence about him.  I see it, because I see it in his grandson.  You will be so missed, Grandpa Jim.  Besides Mr. Taylor, you're the closest thing I had to a Grandfather.  I never met my maternal grandfather. He died before I was born.  I don't have close relationship with my paternal side of the family. So my Abuelito and I weren't close.  Beside there are 13 children, 11 living. My father is the oldest and pretty much was the father figure in the other siblings' lives.  Where was there room for me. I also didn't seem to fit.  Who knew I'd fit with Kearneys? I fit somewhere.  That makes me cry.  It makes me cry in a good way.  Peace comes in so many ways.