The reason for this

When I started blogging I didn't exactly have a theme for it.  I was merely trying to prove to myself I could follow up and keep one going.  Once I achieved that goal I had to think and ponder what my purpose for my blog was.  After awhile, I realized it was to witness my journey through my words.  This is an insight to me sometimes.  It's personal.  It's private.  It is public enough so that people can read it but not everyone will.  There are a few that do.  I cherish that.  I cherish that someone has taken that time to read my thoughts.  Sometimes I get philosophical.  Other times it's just testimony of insanity or zaniness.  It became my diary as it were.  I do, on occasion forget to post on the same day.  I used to feel terrible for that.  Then I realized there isn't a rule book for this.  So I usually write something small to make up for the day and then write extra long for the current day.  It's a strange OCD I have with it.  We will call it the quirkiness that encompasses Jess.  I am sad I didn't pass...again! I want to run away sometime from shame.  And then I stop myself.  I have a great life.  I have a wall to pass and this silly test is a great big old ugly troll.  I did great in school.  I wasn't this slacker.  Jeremy made a point the other day that stuck with me.  We as humans will find the one thing that isn't working and harp on that.  We forget to acknowledge the other blessings or great things that occupy our life.  That is something I must remind myself.  My health is mostly good.  I have hiccups here and there because of it.  I do have to accommodate for things.  My process for thinking also accommodates.  It's quite interesting, actually.  I do have a developmental disability but I was too stubborn to go to places that might have otherwise labeled me with a disability.  I stuck with mainstream.  I played sports.  For all practical purpose I painted myself as normal.  But there has always been a notice of me being "different"...maybe off..or my personal favorite "weird".  I don't actually get offended with the word weird.  I didn't as a child because I desperately wanted to fit in.  But after awhile I accepted my fate and then customized the weirdness! So here I am...Hello :) I hope when you read this you are smiling..maybe even having a little chuckle agreeing that I am a little out there.  I am perfectly happy with that.  It's only when it turns to mock that I pity that you don't know the beautiful mess I can really be.  I can't say that I am a complete angel of things or that I don't have my moments where harmony is just not in my vocabulary.  However, I'd like to think I live my life trying to be a positive impact.  I hope I am that for you.  Until next time....Thank you, silent friend.  I don't know who reads this.  Quite frankly, I don't need to know.  All I need to know is that I made an impact on you.