What works for you

When I went to the therapy session, I was a little anxious.  I was open to new ideas of healing.  And this experience would be no different.  Still, I didn't know what to expect.  We talked about this "comfort place", where I go when I am stressed, or afraid. I call it Serenity.   Think What Dreams may come kind of vibe.  Poetry, the land is edible, like cake.  I get to talk to world leaders about philosophy.  I hear my own voice singing.  I paint.  I paint in colors of what I call Cozumel Blue, such a beautiful color that I saw in Cozumel, while snorkeling.  It was clear water blue with a hint of green? It was beautiful.  We talked about disturbances.  All while I was holding two prongs that vibrated.  They seemed to stimulate or awake my pre frontal cortex.  This method could be seen as hooey in some cases.  But I am learning...what works for you...works for you.  And this worked for me.  I find ways to calm myself.  I find ways to learn now to heal myself or function while things subside in me.  I have Epilepsy.  It usually stays dormant but there are small moments where I am reminded of my condition.  I have PCOS, where I am reminded how my body temperature is greatly affected by weather or AC temperature.  I have PTSD.  Yes.  Something I really try not to delve into because the stigma of it being considered a mental illness.  But there it is...I have PTSD.  Take that, Pierce Morgan.  And I am a rape survivor.  If you think about it, suddenly encompassing a Unicorn persona, or Queen Sparkles doesn't seem so far fetched of how I cope or perceive my life.  It works for me.  I stopped worrying about what people might think.  Was it too silly, too weird, too...whatever? If you thought any of me, and not in a good way ( I could tell by your voice or the expressions on your face), then, in the end...you didn't get me.  Suddenly, living by the Hufflepuff code made sense.  It works for me.  Unless you actually experience it yourself, one cannot really understand what rape survivors have to deal with daily in order to survive...or better yet, thrive in their life.  I already process the world differently because of my Epilepsy.  Now, I also processed the world differently from being a survivor.  I used to used aspects in order to survive life.  I noticed I still am aware one personality stands out more when I need strength that I myself seem "frozen" or unable to have.  It's still me...and yet, it's not.  I have come to understand that when I feel vulnerable, it is harder for me to believe I, alone can have that strength.  I am still working on that.  Memories by Ryan Stewart is on.  I finally figured what to put on my tattoo.  Serenity.  It's not a big tattoo.  But it does celebrate this healing journey I have traveled and still continue to be on.  I will still continue to heal.  I will still continue to grow.  Every day is a new opportunity for healing and growth.  That's what I text my friends.  And it rings true.  Every day is a new opportunity for healing and growth.