Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Letters to my Future Self

It's beautiful and interesting that of the many gifts I got from a loved one, one was a grumpy cat book and also a guided journal.  But also a little booklet called, "Letters to my Future Self".  Each year on August 1st I find something courageous to do or at least something out of my comfort zone.  However, I might change it up a bit and include adventures with writing of sorts.  I think I will start the book on August 1st of this year and open it up next year.  A year of where I directly can say I started healing.  This past August I became whole in the most unexpected way.  By facing Javier.  This next year can be about being whole, just by learning each day the power of healing.  Next year, I can reflect upon it.  Just last night, I had a conversation online with another survivor( a friend from high school.)  It was the first time I had openly commented and identified Javier in any way.  That was a step.  I don't need to plaster his name.  Just my quiet way of educating the public, advocating for survivors, and sharing my courage is enough.  Sometimes, even just providing inspirational quotes and funny stuff is a way to be courageous.  I show the world that this one thing did not define me.  It's a big step for a survivor.  It was helpful to learn my friend's story too so that I could relate or connect with it.  It's not easy to choose to rise above the pain.  And some days I find my inner demons winning a little more than I want.  But between Jeremy, my support system, work, blogging, and other outlets, I find peace.

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