Thursday, May 18, 2017

I miss you so much


I miss you so much.  You were always a fixture of my life.  Of happiness that I had in my life.  Spending those last moments with you, holding your hand, as you slipped away from this world, was probably one of the hardest moments to endure.  But I didn't want to leave your sight.  Thank you for waiting for me.  Thank you for holding on just enough for me to get to you.  I got the first flight out.  It's been 15 years.  It doesn't make it any easier.  It was hard to endure again when I was holding Jeremy's Grandpa the same way.  But I knew it was something I had to do.  Jeremy had just gone back to work that Monday.  I miss you so much.  Tomorrow is your death anniversary.  But somehow, today, it kinda of hit me as I was writing my blog.  So I wanted to write into the void.  My quiet spaces have lost loved ones.  They understand missing someone so much.  So...that's why I am writing to you and telling you I miss you so much.  I wished you could have met Jeremy.  You would have loved him.  He's a pain in the ass but he is crazy about your granddaughter.  Hope you're having fun in heaven or wherever you are.  I hope you got to meet Aaron.  I don't know what really happens to people who commit suicide.  But I'd like to think they get a chance at heaven if they help out people on Earth.  I love when you send me dimes.  I loved how you told me every time I saw a dime you would be saying hello.  I don't care that no one really believes that.  I do.  I love you and miss you. This was taken in 2001.  I was graduating from college.

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