Muse

If you ever wonder if they exist I am going with yes.  And my argument and reasoning is I am one.  It's a bold statement to say. Right? I must have the confidence to believe I inspire people.  This weekend I got a metaphorical kick in the *** to remind me how much I inspire people.  I think I need that type of knock some sense into me every once in a while/  I think all people need friends that are willing to do that. I inspire people to remember just how incredible and amazing people they are.  I inspire people to recognize their worth.  I inspire vixens and badasses.  And while Jeremy sometimes cannot quite process the madness to my method...I inspire him.  He is an incredible man.  But he might have struggled more in dealing with the world if not for a muse like me.  I am his goddess.  Wow. I said that aloud.  When you help change the voice in your head, it helps to learn what words can do to you and for you.  The voice in my head did change.  Granted, the ugly little demon voices are going to spout up.  But this voice, sometimes in male form. Sometimes in female form reminds me that I am this incredible woman that deserves nothing but the best.  That I am worth the best.  To grab life by the horns.  Not every day will be a series of adventures that press beyond a boundary.  Maybe conversations can be adventures.  But then you have days where you venture out and you do things.  That's something I have absolutely loved about my love story with Jeremy.  I bring the inspiration or create the idea of the adventure.  But together we take the adventure.  Hand in hand.  And have those memories.  And then you have soul adventures.  And soul travelers with you.  The kind you can't figure how in the world they know the inner workings of your mind or soul. But there they are.  Getting you.  When you have friends like that.  You are rich beyond belief.  When they accept the beautiful mess you are.... And trust me. I'm a mess sometimes. And that's okay.  You have everything.  I would die happy right now.  I am older so I do think about mortality.  And what I have learned is that I have done enough crazy adventures that I can't regret that.  I have loved. I have lost.  I have loved again.  I can't regret that.  I have met amazing souls and brilliant individuals. I can't regret that.  I have parents that love me.  Even my father with his clumsy ways.  I have children that love me, even if I am not their biological mother.  I am adored.  By more than one person.  I can't regret that.  Even my condition has had a positive impact.  I have been able to help people.  I have healing hands.  And while I wasn't able to professionally gain something from it.  I know how to help people in that sense too, just by my hugs and my touch.  I calm people. Me.  Goofy and rare me.  I flit like an affirmation fairy with my whimsical love.  I am this rare unicorn that exists in this reality.  I am different.  And that's wonderful.  I sometimes will feel like it's a bad thing.  But I will have anchors to grab my hand and stop me from that thought) I will cry it out. Because crying is not a bad thing.  It helps get the toxins out.  I will brush off the negativity. I am human.  I don't need to be perfect...and strong....all the time.  And not being strong...does not make me weak.  Something to remember.  So if I need to be your muse by this blog, well I will spread my whimsical love.  Because you never know how beautiful and contagious and poetic that could be.  That by some beautiful, , kind, and inspirational words we changed the world and its mindset.  Here I am, your muse. A very happy and at peace muse.