An old chapter with a new outfit

This past weekend was really nice.  I had a great weekend all around.  I spent time with my friends Leah and Jared.  Then I got to spend time with my Best Friend, Amanda V.  It had been a while since we had gotten together for coffee.  It felt good to get back into it.  Sometimes I need a nudge to get out of my tunnel vision I am with this MBLEX.  And then I went to church on Sunday with Heidi.  And that was interesting.  I felt like I was meeting up with my ex or something.  I felt familiar but I was at a different stage in my life.  It felt good but also a little awkward.  It felt like that because it had been a while since I had gone to a Catholic Church with anyone but my family.  Even Leticia is considered family so it doesn't quite count.  And I usually went for her sake, not mine.  It just made me think.  I once had that faith.  I once had that no questions asked faith.  And then things happened.  I have come back.  Sometimes I come jaded.  But mostly I come back trying to figure out my journey with my spirituality.  I am not religious anymore.  In fact, God denotes He sometimes so much that I have started calling God..Universe...because He is She to me.  That is something different in my adulthood.  Growing up I wouldn't even consider anything but He.  I do need to question in order to bring myself back to the faith.  I have to want to do something not forced to do it.  And going to church was the first step.  Heidi has been so supportive.  She has no judgement on my journey.  She is happy just to help me along.  I am so lucky to have such wonderful friends.  I cherish Amanda for telling me like it is...even if something it seems harsh.  She loves me enough to tell me.  I love the bond that Leah and I share.  We have so much in common.  I cherish Amanda Roberts. We have had such a journey to get to where we are today.  I cherish Heidi.  I didn't expect that two people with what seemed like different paths in life could actually have more things in common.  I hadn't realized that Drama Drain (she doesn't even have a name when I am writing) took so much energy out of me.  It's like my energy balance was off.  I feel protected...if that makes sense.  I feel appreciated.  And in order to help myself with my health I do need to think about my mental well being.  I sometimes allowed myself the idea that wanting support was a selfish thing.  And here it comes naturally to these women.  They all have different ways to express it.  And it doesn't have to be in the same amount.  It's what we can give to each other.  So this old chapter with a new outfit.  I am trying it on.  I want to see what this journey brings.  Universe, it's all yours.  I look forward to this journey.