Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Don't wish


Even as terrible as Javier is, past my inner thoughts.  I don't wish him harm.  Don't wish people bad things.  I don't understand why anyone would.  They are still human beings.  Terrible examples of human beings.  But we stoop to their level. And we can become bad like them. And we are much better than that.    I received some news that an ex friend might be going to the military.  She actually reached out to her ex boyfriend, of all people, to find out more information.  The ex boyfriend happens to be my friend.  I can't imagine her in the army.  Neither could Jeremy.  But I hope it works out.  This ex friend was a user.  It's why I removed her from my life.  She was the kind of person that if I had pain or something wrong went int my life, she felt better about it.  That's just negative energy.  And she was a negative nancy.  At least make an effort to look for positive.  I can't imagine her in the army.  But I hope it works out.  This may be exactly the thing she needs to turn her life around.  I guess that's why I do...is it judge? Is that the word I'm looking for.  Am I judging someone because they would want bad for another person? I get inner thoughts.  I've had them of Javier.  I want him to suffer emotionally.  I want him to feel pain.  It just seems like bad karma to want that for people.  The hard part was hearing it out of someone's mouth I respect.  I looked at this person and had a very different perspective of them? I kept trying to ask myself...am I overreacting? Wanting that reflects on the kind of person you are.  I'm no angel.  I'm no saint.  So I'm not sitting here on a pedestal.  I feel bad for judging.  But I am.  It doesn't stop me from talking to said person.  But it does tell me something about the person.  And it's not good.  And that makes me sad

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