Truth is..

The truth is...I'm still figuring out the kinks in this thing called life.  Blogs are not necessarily because people are experts.  Certainly, when I started this blog, it was an extension of some version of a diary.  I invited you in on some of my inner thoughts.  Were all my thoughts right? No.  Were all my thoughts wrong? No.  They were my thoughts.  And by choice, you decided to read one or more than one of my thoughts.  I read one blog.  And that's the friend who inspired me to blog.  She was going through some life changes.  And her very raw and very vulnerable writing reminded me that writing this is very vulnerable.  At any point, without my knowledge, you're judging me.  And really, it's okay.  I'm almost 40.  You won't be the first person to judge me.  I'm sure you won't be the last.  I just got tired.  I don't have the energy to care what someone thinks.  I respect feedback.  I respect others' opinion.  But you haven't been in my shoes.  You haven't lived my story.  Whether wrong or right, it's the journey I chose to take.  I take the rewards and consequences.  It is something to think about when someone has an opinion about your life.  Even someone close to you.  Now, with that...it doesn't mean to be an asshole about it.  There is still respect to be made.  More often than not, people interpret that as a way to be assholes.  It isn't always easy to rationalize things out like this.  And I can tell you...I still struggle separating emotions versus logic.  At least in some aspects of my life.  But knowing that I struggle with this, I learn every day how to improve. Failing is failing to try.  I heard that from a movie I saw the other day.  The best exotic Marigold hotel.  I love quotes.  Criminal Minds gives me plenty to write down.  It's almost too much.  One day I can go back on IDMB and check out some of the quotes.  In the meant time, I am off to work.  I start a new schedule next week.  I am excited and nervous.  I hope you have a sparkling day.