A purpose

In life, I think we are always trying to identify what that is.  Our purpose.  Because sometimes I see such an emphasis on one's career as an identity, I think I lost sight that a purpose isn't necessarily through someone's vocation. For me, my biggest purpose is connection.  Sometimes it comes through music.  Sometimes, through art.  Though, in all honesty, I am still shy about my ability there.  Still,  when inspired, I do find my inner artist.  Sometimes, through writing, where I draw much of my strength.  And them, there is connection with people, on a deep level.  People have a story to tell.  And I am there to be their audience.  There is different ways people connect.  And even how they connect reflects a story they are trying to tell.  I recognized this as Jeremy and I watched such an amazing story line.  In anime, of all places.  In that moment, there was a genuine connection about the story line that Jeremy and I shared.  He had already seen it but he wanted me to see.  He wanted to connect with me by me seeing the story line.  I, so many times want to connect that I make memories.  I make adventures.  However, this time, it was Jeremy wanting to experience that with me.  It made my heart melt of my impact on him.  For so many years, I doubted I made one on him.  Silly me has only realized Jeremy is more covert in his appreciation of our coupleship.  While I more overt of the appreciation.  It doesn't make one less or more significant.  By removing more of my insecurities, I can see the admiration for the person I am.  And the person he loves.  It took me a while.  It actually took losing my way to find my way, actually. I have a purpose.  I help people connect.  Sometimes to others.  Sometimes, to themselves.  I have a gift.  I am a gift.  I embrace that now.  When my insecurities blinded me, I literally couldn't see the sky blue.  Because really, through different angles and perspectives, I've seen the sky purple, pink, and maybe little yellow.  When they lifted, I understood more when the sky was blue.  And then, for the first time, I got to see with my own eyes, the sky was blue.  A beautiful conversation,today, reminded me of that analogy.  Continuity by Liquid Mind is on.  Slowly, I am coming into my own, regarding my evolution.  That evolution of me is raw and beautiful and also painful.  But I also draw from that pain.  That pain makes me strong.  And for that I smile? I don't know if it's a smile exactly.  But I give pain the appreciation.  From pain long ago...to pain more recent.  Even the evolution of pain has its purpose.