Un crazy

Sometimes I can get stuck in my own crazy.  I'm glad I have those who uncrazy me.  To me, you want people that love you enough to be willing you to call you out.  Not in a rude way.  But in a way that is in the best interest of you to grow as a person.  I'm glad I am that for loved ones too.  But I did learn something in this journey I am taking.  To listen to my crazy.  Sounds strange.  But hear me out.  I haven't in the past listened to the times I felt red flags go up or something didn't seem right.  I would second guess.  I would doubt myself.  When I learn to look at a situation and rationalize, well...suddenly what I feel might seem crazy...isn't so crazy.  Still, I am glad I am able to bounce thoughts off of individuals that make my soul feel silky smooth? Through memories, through emotional plug, I remember the anxiety I once had.  Almost on a daily basis.  I can't tell you when I have had those experiences lately.  My emotional bank account is well funded, so to speak.  I kept wondering about this Zen I used to have.  I imagine it's because I was trying to hide the bad from myself in the world.  I learned...I can't really control whether the bad comes in or not.  What I can control is how I react to that bad.  I reflect on the strength of myself.  I rely on the voice inside that forever protects me.  I slip up.  I let negative thoughts in.  I'm human.  But I am more quick to stop that process by reminding myself of the badassary that I have faced.  Not just in the last months, but other things that have happened.  I can look back with pride.  I was trying to figure out my story.  I was trying to heal.  But I needed the right parts of my story in the narrative to help me see that.  I still have a story to tell.  In fact, we all do.  It's like learning a riddle to a question we haven't received yet.  In the Looking Glass by Lorie Line is on.