Monday, November 2, 2015
A positive out of a negative
Sometimes these "Facebook Memories" posts can be heartbreaking. They remind me of the friendship I lost and how much I miss that friendship. But, they also remind me of how much better off I am in my life not to have that friendship.
I have to look at those words. You never know if a post is directed or you or not. But since I lost my friendship with the person who wrote this and I happen to look at my own memories of today from years past...I can guess that the post is about me. It is what it is. I hurt. But she's right. It does remind me how much better off I am in my life not to have that friendship. It's just where we are. I felt like I got punched. But there's a positive out of a negative. My chapter without this person. I had been mostly living life without daily contact. Her letting go of me made it easier to let go. I don't want to. But when you know that a friendship is bad for your health...it's time to let go. The positive out of the negative is waking up to give affirmations to people who love and accept me. See, I understand an argument presented in our conversation. Actions speak louder than words. They felt like they had been doing the actions. The odd part was I changed my personality for this person. I "catered" to their insecurities. I did multiple things to make them feel comfortable and it wasn't enough. So I felt like I wasn't enough. So as they were saying I don't do enough actions. My words don't match my actions. And then a phone call from one of my best friends just put me in a great mood. Ah. My tribe members. We were talking about above situation and baseline bitch and reactive bitch. I would be the latter. I feel so much better. I have to go through the emotions of it. I recognized some of these are actually angersad feelings. I resent this friendship. Boom. Epiphany. I resent this friendship. Moving on. Because that's what I must do. As they say. I am much better off in my life not having this friendship.
The positive out of the negative, it was pointed out, shows the character of the other person...not me. Interesting point. I hope I got that sentiment right.
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