It's comical

You know...sometimes I am quiet amused at things in my life.  I mean...I laugh...and it's my life.  I have good people in my life.  I am dearly loved, it's almost sickening how loved I am.  And that reflects on the person I am.  I frustrate people...including Jeremy.  But in all, they stick by me and support my crazy life, simply because they love me.  I am a quirky little thing.  And not a very typical person.  And I am okay with that.  I live by a different code.  It doesn't always agree with people.  And most times I am okay with that.  Yesterday, I wasn't okay with it.  And when I am stressed my pretty little head goes off and negative and just puts crazy assumptions in my mind.  I am still learning how to finesse my way through not thinking the worst of things.  I am so used to not being in conflict that when I am or misssteps are in place...I forgot how to navigate at times.  I am out of practice.  Which is why it's nice to be reminded it's about what I have done.  Not the person I am.  I do get emotional triggers of being "too much".  I am still growing up inside.  Strange as that sounds...being almost 40. But somewhere along the way, my mind got stunted with things, on an emotional level.  I am aware of it.  And I try to work with it.  It's funny how adult I can be sometimes.  I have such beautiful insight. It's something I have always been told.  and yet...I can't seem to take on my advice.  Perhaps, I feel too late in the game to do things.  Or that I don't have to deal with it but a few times that I don't bother with changing anything anymore.  It's comical how my life unfolds sometimes.  The nice part in all this is Jeremy going along the journey with me.  He holds me hand and I am not alone on my journey. No matter the journey.  He is always there with me.  Jeremy is a character.  And sometimes can have an acquired taste element to him.  He is Spock. And anti social.  And I'm social butterfly.  On paper we are some strange combinations.  But together...wow.  I've never met anyone more willing to go on my crazy adventures of life.  Simple reason. He loves me that much.  I see that now.  Jeremy loves me beyond anything I could understand. Shoot. Sometimes I don't think I am worth all this trouble.  But he thinks I am.  And Oh...he is so worth all this.  Jeremy takes on so much and smiles with beautiful acceptance...and more.  It makes sense because it's Jess.  That is the mantra of sorts.  Today is a day of Thanks.  I am thankful for my life and the people in that love me unconditionally.  That is invaluable.