That makes sense

An interesting conversation I had brought me to an epiphany about today.Or I should say about Valentine's Day.A moment where I said...That makes sense.  I respect others for celebrating it.  I love looking at my Facebook feed and seeing the pictures of Valentine's related things, whether romantic, platonic, or familial.  Yet, for myself, I don't celebrate it.  I didn't always feel this way? And it occurred to me...as my friend said...That would turn anyone off to Valentine's Day.  I got divorced 13? years ago to Woody today.  It seems a lifetime ago.  What turned from love quickly turned into resentment and disdain.  I don't think you can put us in the same room and not have a fight start.  We didn't even date him officially. We met in basic training. Yes. Queen Sparkles was once in the Army.  I don't mention it much because I don't feel I've earned the right to say veteran or anything. I digress.  Whirlwind romance.  The man knew how to sweep a woman off her feet.  He also knew how to swipe the rug afterwards.  Later, I found it he's had mental illness issues.  And PTSD, supposedly.  I say that because some of my army buddies tell me another story.  In any case, that was a very dark part of my life.  Alone in Germany and most people didn't know about the physical abuse.  I'm clumsy, remember? He drank heavily.  But I am relieved he asked for the divorce.  I would've had us go to counseling.  I would've stuck it out.  It's a commitment.  And I believe in commitment.  Today, I got divorced.  I used to actually celebrate D-day.  Divorce day.  Jeremy and I both did. We would acknowledge our past.  It took me a while to want to marry again.  I was scared of having that kind of bond with a person.  I had at this point not believed I could be loved.  I'm difficult to live with.  Yada yada yada.  Many hurtful things that made me doubt myself as a partner.  Until Jeremy.  We struggled in the beginning.  Both of us awkward in our approach on things sometimes.  But onward we went, together.  We knew the love was there.  We just needed to figure how to communicate with each other.  And every day we work at that.  And every day we choose each other.  We actively choose to be together, to live together, to be friends in our relationship.  We don't seem the most compatible people on paper. I agree.  Opposites do attract.  And when someone is worth it, you just get it done.  You make it work.  You figure it out.  So this Valentine's day, I will smile and remember that it doesn't have to come with such a bad taste.  It will be just another day.  But every day with Jeremy is Valentine's day, or anniversary, or birthday.  Every day is a gift we have of each other.  And we cherish it.  And each other.