Being that vulnerable

Being that vulnerable is not the easiest thing.  Whether it's face to face.  Or it's on my blog.  Jeremy once asked me how I can possible write such intimate and personal things for essentially, strangers.  Or at the very least, people I don't know whom I am writing to.  I recognize how that would seem difficult.  But it was more important to me to have my life be some kind of reference.  It was a perspective for you to have.  That when you go about your day working, my thoughts resonated with you.  That I made you smile.  Any one of those things would do.  Even pure curiosity.  Sometimes there is a sense of voyeur that we don't admit having.  But there it is.  Maybe even that.  I can accept that.  I am this way because I don't know how else to be. I share my thoughts with people face to face.  I am layers.  Most people get surface layer Jess.  And that is still a pretty good experience.  However, there are some select few that have a different experience.  They have shown me their intent with our friendship.  I was having a conversation about that last night.  Respect and intent.  Two very amazing conversations last night.  I love having those kind of amazing conversations.  So...here I am...vulnerable to your possible judgement.  If I help you in your day in any possible way...I'm okay.  That's the biggest happiest for me.  And the best part. I don't even have to know I am doing it.  I am just taking a wild guess that I do.  Because I already do that face to face.  When I stop letting my inner demons grab such a hold of me, I remember how amazing of a person I am and the gift I am to this world.  I remember many conversations with people that have confirmed that information as well.  However, I am trying not to rely on others for their validation.  But my own.  Feedback is important.  But I have to look inward.  I am that bad ass.  When I allow myself to be.  I just need to allow myself to be.  That's the challenge.  Unchained Melody by Esteban is on.  So thank you for reading.  Thank you for bringing a smile to my face as you read this.  I feel connected to you, quite spaces of the blog.  This reminds me of a social experiment I did with a friend.  We didn't talk for about 20 minutes, on purpose.  It was a beautiful memory.  Because it reminded me that in the quiet spaces of life, we find ourselves.  In the moments of life, where the white noise goes away...we find more of what we are.