The reality

The reality of things is an interesting concept.  What do I mean like that? Decisions we make affect an outcome.  We make decisions.  I make decisions for happiness.  Sometimes my own.  Sometimes for yours.  Theories are all good when it is said and done.  But they are just that.  Theories.  They haven't been tested.  They haven't been applied.  And if you're anything like me, I look at options where the most optimal option is there.  Sometimes it seems less....whimsical.  Sometimes, it's all about whimsy.  But in a structured way.  I used to think I was a contradiction in the making.  But I like a conversation Jeremy and I had.  Sometimes you can feel duel.  And so what I feel as contradiction...was simply duel.  I'm getting older.  So I suppose I am getting this attitude of I'm too old for this shit.  In some ways I have more patience of the world.  In some ways...I don't.  In the end, all I want is to be happy.  The reality is all I want is my happiness.  On a side note, yesterday is always an interesting day.  It's the birthday of one of my dearest friends, "Sunshine".  We met in Germany.  It's also the deathday of my Grandma.  I love that woman.  I miss her so much.  And also the day I met Woody.  Yes.  My second ex husband's name is Woody.  He looks like Mathew McConaghey. And talks like Woody Harrelson.  Let that sink in.  I met Woody while in bootcamp.  Yes. Me.  For such a brief...I don't even count it...I was in the military.  PFC First Class.  I certainly have had adventures in my life.  And I'm not even done.  My partner in crime, Jeremy is here alongside me with it.  It was nice hearing him say I was his best friend.  Maybe he thinks I know so it doesn't need to be said.  And in some ways he is right.  I feel it.  But I have learned the hard way that while I might feel something some way, I might be completely wrong or one changes their mind.  Saying it confirms it.  Saying it bears the truth you feel.  Just thoughts.