The blogness of our life: Special Event

Last night I was invited to a beautiful event. I went to a Gala with one of my bffs. It wasn't mandatory as indicated by pictures of previous years where I was shown some people made no effort. That was frustrating to me. But that is s personal thought for me about style. A Gala calls for me to make effort on my attire. And effort I made. I was unsure on whether I needed to get another dress. However, I owned one that already was a good fit for the occasion. It was just a matter of dressing it up with the accessories and shoes. DO convinced me to purchase red shoes. And from there we made the outfit. I borrowed a necklace that quite complimented the two reds I was wearing. I found a shawl that I absolutely loved. And even better, was the price! I used my own earrings. I felt amazing in this outfit. And by the look of Jeremy's face. I looked amazing too. He couldn't take his eyes off me. And complimented me. He is starting to compliment more. It pained him that one of his shortcomings hurts me. And so he is making genuine strides to compliment more. He was having his own version. And then he stopped. This is starting again with compliments of how I look and how I am. While I don't necessarily need the affirmation about my physical beauty, it is still nice for my husband to notice how stunning, or beautiful, or sexy I look. I ate very well. It had an upscale vibe for it. I guess that is why I felt disappointed for some not making an effort on their attire. I can be judgmental. I'm not proud of it. But there it is. I am judgmental when people don't make an effort regarding special events. Vibrant Dusk from Deuter is on. This Special Event was nice for me. With some of the chaos happening, it was nice to feel at peace going to this. At one point, I was describing the food to some Sales rep like natural. You thought I was some kind of food critic. It was a nice experience. I feel at peace right now. My heart to heart talks provided certain weight lifted off me. I forgave. I am hoping it doesn't bite me in the butt. But I have faith. I have a forgiving nature. And I am not being my authentic self if I am not forgiving someone. So being at peace is part of that. So is being in love with my husband. And him with me. For better or worse. Those words ring true. Every relationship and ultimately, every marriage finds their jolt where they find out the stuff they are really are made of. Including ours. I am happy that we are finding our way back, but in a new way. I am trying to be bolder, in general. I accommodate so much, I forget about my own feelings, thoughts, wants, needs. I fear that I become too selfish. When really....I am just as entitled to what I am feeling. Every day I will bring my confidence back. It did vanish. And like a skittish kitten, I hesitate again. I do second guess myself in some areas. And then in some, I am bold. It will help to have friends that remind me of my value and worth. Jeremy came up with wise and insightful. I'll take it. I don't claim to be the most intelligent woman. But I do hold onto memories and thoughts that are like references now on when my confidence is shot. I don't hold onto the source. Anyone's opinion of you other than your own opinion is not healthy to put stock into. I hold onto the words themselves. And there are plenty of people that have beautiful words. Including, Jeremy now. It's a matter of where to look for it. His gestures and humility is important. They mean the world to me. So...back to learning about life. I don't have the answers. I am learning as I go too. I don't always feel like adult well. And some days I won't need to. I don't have to be okay every day. And that's okay. I don't always have to know the answers. I don't always have to people either. Giving myself time to recharge and be by myself is wonderful. I get to gather my thoughts. I get to work on my story. I get to color. I get to work on the house. I get to blog. I get to sleep. Because of my Epilepsy, I don't work on the same energy level like others. I do need more sleep than others. It's a way to recharge. How I love my naps. And I should stop giving myself shit for having them. But I am extremely hard on myself. It's me on my own honor system. Such deep thoughts lol

Enjoy the pictures. I know I did! It was nice to feel and see that smile again. I have a beautiful smile.