Insecurities

We all have them.  They look different.  And we react differently to our insecurities.  I was reminded of that when I read a post from a Facebook friend.  Funny enough, she and I have never met.  But we feel like we know each other.  She is married to one of my college friends.  Her husband and I have a history.  Not a romantic one, per se.  But sometimes I think while we were waiting for our right ones, we sailed together.  It's the only way I know how to explain it.  He's a good guy.  There is a story there too.  But right now it's about his wife.  She just got accepted to a very prestigious school.  And she was talking about starting over again, in some ways.  She is a no nonsense kind of woman.  She is outspoken.  I couldn't imagine her having the insecurities she was sharing.  I couldn't believe she was sharing it.  I actually let out a tear because she was describing things I have felt.  And then, it occurred to me, that really, my insecurities are not uncommon.  When you have too many negative comments running at you, it weighs down you.  Nowadays, I have positive comments. Not to say those closest to me don't point out flaws they see.  But in doing so, they are doing it in a way that I don't feel badgered.  Even Jeremy.  He really is trying hard to be the kind of husband I needed.  And I take every opportunity to thank him for doing that.  Like any couple we don't agree.  I honestly thought he put himself in a weird situation yesterday but I let him be.  I said my peace but I let him be.  And in return he said he wasn't planning to do that again.  That was much appreciated.  You have two entities working side by side for a common goal.  It isn't easy.  Especially when you have people who seem like opposite.  And sometimes, I do see how Jeremy and I think so differently on things.  But he lets me be on how I handle things, and since I believe in balance, I must do the same.  We are having our hot lunch date.  Then, two friend dates in one day.  One, with SADF and then with Raven.  Tomorrow I have it with "A".  We have managed to find a way to keep our friendship going without severing it completely.  Just you and me from Michele McLaughlin is on.  And then, work tomorrow.  I might just turn in my care sheets then.  That is something to keep up with for work.  Care sheets.   They actually make sense.  It's like a task sheet for what you do with the client.  I don't have to deal with time sheets unless I am late.  I just call in and clock in.  Work....just saying the word makes me smile.  Work...Work. Work.  Okay. I am done.  If you feel that insecurity come on...just know that it is okay.  I can tell you plenty of times how my insecurities sneak up on me.  And it's irritating.  Because I have to fight the positive words with the negative thoughts I tell myself.  It's like being a prisoner of my own thoughts.  But I have wonderful people that keep me afloat.  And then, I remember.  Then, I remember how amazing I am.  How much of a baddass I am.  And hottie to boot.  Okay okay.  Some of you won't think that.  I can accept that.  I'm not everyone's type.  But I still get looks.  I still get hit on.  Heh Heh. I still got it