Something as small

Something as small as to be mindful might actually remove some tension between people.  I'm not saying all problems would be solved.  But I notice when certain people are mindful, close or strangers, I acknowledge that.  It should seem like second nature, but we are a very selfish society now.  And to be mindful is rare.  I do my best to be mindful.  My biggest thought is am I infringing in some way? For example, I appreciate when friends or Jeremy drive instead of me.  Certainly, with my job, I am traveling more.  I take into account my body reaction to this new activity and being more active.  And I am seem to be doing okay.  It seems resting my body or taking naps is the key.  Power naps or Power rest actually helps.  I felt more tired an hour ago.  I fell asleep. And bam.  And Jeremy and my friends easily take on the job of taxi.  So, I try to compensate somewhere.  It's a me thing.  But it's become so much my reputation, in a good way, that when I truly need something and may not be able to compensate, they give me looks like ...please.  Even Jeremy.  In his case, I am able to do that in other ways.  But mindful.  That's the point.  It's just a thought.  I hold the door for a man or woman for that reason.  It's just to be mindful.  And hopefully it's a strange and subtle pay it forward.  But kindness has to start somewhere.  So I am starting it with me, one little gesture at a time.

On another note, last night was one of the best dates I had with Jeremy.  I had made Balsalmic Tortellini and that makes leftovers,  So we saw Criminal Minds.  We are alternating Game of Thrones with Criminal Minds.  I'm trying to get him on Leverage.  Damn you, AP lol Then, we played Diablo.  I am trying to find 2 player or multiplayer games.  And Diablo is one of my favorite games.  So there I was, kicking a$$ with my love.  Lastly, we went pokemon hunting.  We were laughing and joking.  I feel closer.  Even closer now.  I understand things better.  I understand him better.  He understands me better.  And I'm realizing a little spatting with this dork doesn't take away from our relationship.  My insecurities used to worry, maybe even panic when we were unzen.  We're human.  We are going to not see eye to eye from time to time.  That's normal.  In fact, it's healthy.  And when we hurt each other, we pause so we aren't.  We are not immune to any hardships either.  His communication approach and my insecurities were enemies of ours.  I told him the other day.  I feel like we have evolved as a couple.  And that feels good.  I went from thinking we could never divorce...to facing that possible factor.  And strange part, it might have been me to ask for it.  But once both of us reflected, and talked...we want each other.  We had one 11th hour before we got married.  Guess we needed an 11th hour when we were married.  Now, it's a reference.  Now it's ruler of sorts.  Let's not get there again.

What does all this mean? Not sure.  I never know if my blog entries mean anything than my own thoughts floating out into the void.  What I do know is I recognize my being mindful makes a difference.  Maybe yours will too.  Something as small as being mindful...could be everything.  You were Always There by Denise Young is on