Leveling up

For the Asking by John Bur is on.  I really like this melody.  I feel like some parts of me that have been behind have been leveling up.  Parts of me that you would think should have already grown up, just now seem to be..well...leveling up.  Becoming a gamer chick on my own terms has been an interesting adventure.  I have gamer tutors besides Jeremy.  And it's been helpful to learn different aspects of games.  For instance, Pokemon go.  It is an adventure.  Saturday Jeremy and looked for different poke stops.  And Sunday, we went on a walk with DA and "L".  She had been wanting to go for a walk for a while.  Mission accomplished.  I did more than 10,000 steps.  I either get to my goal of 6,000 more or get very close to it.  And my job helps me to stay active too. My confidence, so to speak has leveled up.  Jeremy and I have moments where we aren't fighting but certainly don't see eye to eye.  And rather than pipe down, I find a way to express my feelings in the most logical way.  I convey and express I am having an emotion but I calmly give that information.  That's new for me.  So when Jeremy and I do have some weird version of a fight, he and I actually apologize to each other quickly.  Sometimes apologizing for our behavior.  Or just for the other feeling hurt.  We don't have the answers.  No one couple has the secret to a happy marriage.  It's different.  But we do continue to finesse the art of marriaging.  And I like our interaction.  I like our inside joke.  Partners in crime.  I don't know if you can have more than one partner in crime.  I just know that Jeremy is that one person.  He's my person.  I'm his.  And that is important for me, in my evolution to a more healed self esteem.  I'm a badass.  No stuttering or or *.  I have come up from a storm.  I have survived Javier.  I have survived Woody.  I have survived Brad. I have survived a gun to my head, a rape, physical harm, emotional and psychological torture.  And I am a fucking Unicorn.  Every once in a while, show that aggression.  I don't mean in an angry way.  I mean, find a way to out let or release that inner turmoil.  When you come out from the storm...You will feel like a warrior, a badass.  And you won't even imagine revenge or whatever.  You won't even want to bother with the idiot or assholes or bitches that made you feel this way, whether physical, emotional, sexual, or any.  It's just a thought.  You can try your way.  It might make you feel better.  I'm just telling you from experience.  The day I stopped giving that pain power, and essentially that person power over me...I felt free.  Slowly...it's not overnight.  But I felt free.  And as I continue to heal, I feel free.  Look at me, all leveling up.