The secret is...that it's different for everyone

Self help and other sources always harp on the secret of marriage is...and I don't argue that there isn't a secret to a happy marriage.  My only argument is that my secret to a happy marriage is going to look different to the secret of your happy marriage, or relationship.  And that's not wrong.  There are wants and needs that Jeremy and I want.  There are compromises we make regarding our marriage.  Even in playfulness we do jab at each other.  I told him he was a glutton for punishment.  He said.  I married to you.  Funny enough.  I didn't get hurt.  I rather agreed with him.  But not in a bad way.  And you know what? The man is acquired taste himself.  There is a finesse to handling Jeremy.  What baby wants, baby gets.  But he has veto power.  However, with all that said....I wouldn't want to do this with anyone else.  There is one other person in my life I imagined being married to.  But life had other plans.  And we both knew that it wasn't meant for us to be together.  And I am so grateful that we both knew that.  That was 23 years ago.  And when we talk, it's not us then.  It's us now.  I'm grateful his wife understands our friendship.  I'm grateful my husband understands the friendship.  And I made him promise me not to be my best friend...again lol
Jeremy explains to me whenever I worry my friendships might threaten him in any way...that I have always shown him he is the priority.  And he is.  There isn't one friendship I wouldn't give up for this man.  And the mere fact I have given this gesture is significant to Jeremy, in my opinion.  I wish his friendship worked like that but people are different and luckily there is distance.  It's hard to explain without getting to much into it.  However, I work on balance.  And last time I checked he has earned more than enough leeway with me.  That's what I mean by secret is different.  I'm happy in my marriage.  It's a cooky one.  But I love being married to Jeremy.  And while it took some time to get married (He was skittish from being married again).\, the man was worth it.  At the end of the day, we're married to our best friend.  On some things I need Jeremy to give me words.  Others, I just know.  The first person I want to share my bad news or my good news is him.  He's my closest confidante.  I have learned my lesson though.  And I have a friend to thank, in a round about way.  Don't put stock in anyone's opinion, higher than your own.  Your voice is the most important one.  So by the lesson I learned with that friend, I learned to appreciate the feedback and opinions from Jeremy.  But that is opinion wasn't THE opinion.  My thoughts are important.  What I have to say is important.  It might not make sense to people but I think on a different plane sometimes.  I process life differently.  Why wouldn't I marriage differently? And I found someone that loves me enough to understand that.  And by that respect, he found one that loves him deeply and wants balance.  I'm sorry if I sometimes have a lovefest about Jeremy.  And then, I'm not.  I don't want to hide being happy with my marriage.  I'm not trying to shove it someone's face.  Especially if they are unhappy in their marriage or relationship.  Don't be jealous.  Figure the secret for you.  Figure what works for you.  And don't worry about what others think.  People will always have their two cents.  I'm not innocent of that either.  I've put in my two cents in others and their relationships.  And in was none of my business.  So I try to be more mindful of insight.  Now...if you are asking for insight...then I feel my two cents is invited.  But even then...you don't have to take it.  It's merely me giving insight on experiences I have had in my life that suggest certain outcomes.  So the secret to a happy relationship or marriage is...that it's different for everyone.  Yes, communication.  Yes, understanding.  But it's going to look different for every couple.  Different.  Clarification.  Balance.  Different.  I love these words lol