Keenly aware

The session went well today.  I definitely feel emotionally exhausted from the experience.  I am so glad I did it.  I am keenly aware of what works for me in order to deal with the effects of the rape.  Today was amazing.  I got to talk with every member of my tribe.  Every member that has been a traveler with me on this journey.  I love them with all my heart.  And they all bring such a beautiful contribution to my dream of being whole.  I had Dear One right by my side.  Her husband is unable to communicate that type of raw emotion but he figures I am better with having his wife at my side.  My husband was amazing on just being there for me this morning.  Hugging me and kissing me like it was the last time we would see each other.  That man still gets me lovesick for him.  I am unapologetic about being in love with my husband.  Then, my darling beautiful friend whom I get to share a very strange and wonderful journey with. Her teaching skills help me in some ways.  It's wonderful to see the process she has on just taking on the love of her journey.  And I am a big wonderful bad influence on it. lol Then them...sighs Those two magnificent crazy wonderful people I call friends.  They are both amazing miraculous visions of awe.  Both I find myself in awe.  Just for different reasons.  And strangely, while I don't talk to him all the time...my version of a little brother.  I feel so protective of him it's beautiful.  And the bond that he has with Jeremy is beautiful to watch.  I've never see Jeremy open up to someone so much like he does him.  Back to the session.  I found out how strong I was today.  I'm watching myself like a movie.  It's astounding.  I am finally starting to see what the fuss is about. Slowly but surely.  And my new member of that tribe is HER...the one who saw that same mirror of emotional abuse.  She got physical. I got sexual.  And we both got emotional.  That one person whom understands those questions and doubts.  Whom I see the delicacy that I was trying so hard to see in myself. Go figure.  I need a nap.   I have to recharge from such a crazy day like this.