Tuesday, April 11, 2017

This right here

I was definitely looking forward to today.  I needed to recover from Epic birthday fun.  I also  needed to recover from what I call a life blip.  You know...you're skipping along in life like a happy little lark and life throws a rock at you, in the head.  But therapy helped me to react to moments like that.  And this was a perfect opportunity to use my newly found skills.  I got through work.  On my way home, however, Hello from Adele came on and there I was...crying.  A single tear or two.  I'm a sensitive soul.  I warned you.  I came home and told Jeremy about my day, as I always do.  We ask how our days are.  I love that.  I'm coming to the end of my chapter with my assignment.  The occupational hazard of my job is that my clients eventually need much more medical help than I can give them.  I'm not a nurse.  I've been mistaken for one.  No worries. I already got called to fill in.  It's about building a reputation and I have a rock star reputation with work.  I do like permanent assignments and then just picking up shifts.  I had a beautiful therapeutic conversation with a member of the panel.  I needed it to sort through some things.  I feel better.  If there is something to take away about people's opinions about is...Take  it into consideration.  They are entitled to their thoughts and feelings.  But in the end, it's just an opinion.  Don't put stock in anyone's opinion of you, except for you.  The I get it french lessons moment...or as Oprah likes to call it...an aha moment was that I have been trying to have this click in my head since the rape happened.  And somewhere, the lesson was not learned.  Until last year.  Until reporting him.  Until therapy.  Until emerging from my pain and seeing all the hard work I have done to make this life for myself.  Whether it's work, my friends, my family, my marriage, or even just within myself....I worked hard to find this peace and happiness.  I used to call it Zen but life doesn't allow for that.  At least if you have a regular life, not Gweneth Paltrow's life.  But to find this balance is something I work for every day.  So...balance, it is.  I found a frame for the Kearney history coat of arms.  It's been a dream of mine to get it.  I would get mine but my name is complicated with the whole Ortiz/Figarora thing.  And what a perfect year to get it too.  I'm still waiting on my DNA thing.  So...it worked out so well that this year I got the Kearney coat of arms.  It's going on the wall between our paintings and underneath our wedding stitch art.  In Dreams by Lorie Line is on.

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