A new way

Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. ~Norman Cousins

What a quote.  I had a friend experience loss last night.  I can only imagine he/she and the heartache they were feeling.  I have experienced loss myself.  The biggest impacts were my Grandma Agness on my mom's side.  And Aaron.  Two very different ways that death came about.  But nonetheless for me, a feeling of loss from it.  I was extremely close to my Grandma.  Not a day goes by that I don't think about her in some way.  Before she died she told me that every time I saw one dime it would be her way of saying hi.  And like some crazy thing...when I need to feel something, hope, maybe? There's a dime in a most unexpected place.  Call me crazy.  But it it something I believe in.  And it makes me happy to know.  Aaron, on the other hand was less peaceful.  He took his life so already that abrupt and come out of nowhere loss still strikes me with shock.  Also, Jeremy and I were one of the last people to see him.  So that is always jarring to remember.  Although, now I see that as his way of saying good bye and we were lucky to be on that list.  You don't get to see them in person.  And that is very painful.  But they live within you.  They live within your memories.  I can see why they say break ups, termination of friendships, and divorces have that feeling too of loss like a death.  Rather the death of a person, it's a death of a relationship or friendship.  Back to this.  Today, as I have lunch with Jeremy I will enjoy the day.  I will enjoy that I was able to get up again.  That I have friends near and far that love me.  That while my health has been iffy the last few months that I am back on a better health bubble.  I am also working out every day.  It's not even to lose weight.  It's more of just being healthy.  Let me see how this way goes.  It's a new way.  And perhaps, that's exactly what I need.  A new way of a journey.