Monday, December 21, 2015

Instead


Oh, the mishaps and adventures in life.  I say that with a smile.  Saturday could have been seen as perfect.  And in some ways it was. But in a mishap sort of way.  It's a story for sure.  Instead, we have a story that makes us both laugh and enjoy that we have each other.  Saturday was the Nutcracker.  I was so excited for this date.  I had been as a child but it was such a blur, it felt like going for the first time again.  Also, I was excited about seeing ballet.  I enjoy watching dance.  I get lost when people dance.  I get lost when I dance.  It's a beautiful feeling, really.  We went shopping earlier.  And waited for a good time to start getting ready.  or at least me.  I asked for that bath.  I know it sounds silly but something like that makes me happy.  And since I can't do it alone I am happy that I feel confident enough to ask Jeremy.  It was...surreal and intimate.  No more details ;p You can let your imagination wander anyways.  Not turning it into one of those romance novels.  I am so happy, in general about being more confident about things.  I am so happy being confidenct to ask for things I want. But also, being confident about my value.  I still have my moments of self doubt, for sure.  But I hold my head high.  There is a sense of sassy frass from it.  Like a sassiness.  I like it! Jeremy seems to, as well.  We tried to go to Landry's but 25 minutes turned more into 45 and it was getting close to the time for the show.  Instead, we headed to the Tobin center.  I remember it being at Lila Cockrell, back then but I imagined things had changed.  We got scanned in.  We got seated.  But something felt wrong.  I thought we were going to see ballet and the stage didn't look set up for it.  I looked at our tickets to make sure...and there on the tickets, it said Lila Cockrell theatre.  Mind you, it's now 7:22 p.m. We laughed, realizing our tickets got scanned in.  And we were seated! So...Jeremy started the walking navigation and we were walking briskly.  At one point, I had to do something I loathe to do....walk barefoot! Bu my heels were killing me.  And as we were haugling a**, we were laughing.  I told him...back in the day something like this would send me over the edge.  I would have been so upset.  Now...it just seemed like another adventure with him.  And I do love my adventures with Jeremy.  I realized something as were walking.  It takes the right kind of partner to be able to go through life's little mishaps.  And then the mishaps aren't so bad.  You can get mad. But then all that stress inside builds toxins.  And that isn't good for your health.  And also not good for your mental health.  When I was the more angry type of person, I was miserable.  I would go from 0-60.  I had a short fuse.  Now, it brushes off me.  I get frustrated.  However, I just don't have the stress I had before...and that feels good.  Instead, I often incorporate a sense of humor with it.  Funny makes most situations quite bearable.  Especially with the right partner.  We were 10 minutes late.  However, this is the funny part. So was the Nutcracker.  We literally got in and sat down just as the Nutcracker was starting.  So we missed nothing.  Yah.  The other mishap was losing some money.  I was hoping to pay for dinner that night.  I had bought the tickets when I still had a job.  The money I had on hand was part of the money I had earned.  And I lost it.  But we ended up at Denny's.  And we talked...and laughed...and bonded....and ate a banana split together.  It was a beautiful night.  Life will throw you curve balls.  And they can really throw you off base.  Trust me! I work on Zen mode but even I know that life is unpredictable.  Instead, enjoy the little surprises and roll with the punches as best you can, with the best partner in crime you can find.  A conversation with a friend of mine earlier in the week reminded me of how Jeremy has my back.  That there is an unconditional love that sometimes you only find with blood relatives.  Yet, here I have it with someone that isn't obligated to stick around.  But that the love we have is beyond just that lovey dovey type. It's the through thick or thin...we're there for each other.  We have each other's back.  Being married to my best friend is one of the greatest feelings.  It's surreal, actually.  Thank you "DB" for that wonderful conversation.  You really opened my eyes to things.  So...what is the moral of the story? I don't know if I have one.  All I know is when you have the right partner, even the things that go wrong, feel right.

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