Grand scheme of things

In the grand scheme of things, my frustration was on the silly side.  But I do give myself allowance to not want to adult.  And the very thought of recognizing it is an important part of adulating.  So, I didn't adult well.  But I adulted decently.  It seemed like my anger wanted seep in.  But I didn't yell at the customer service when she informed me that the delivery wasn't coming.  Strangely, in the middle of a conversation with one of my best friends, I got a phone call.  I was so happy someone was wrong on their communication! I watched them take the old one.  And I did get a little misty eyed? No. But something of attachment.  Yes. I get attached to inanimate objects as well.  It's why it is hard to throw away things that people in the past give me.  I have work arounds.  In any case, there I was watching the old washer and dryer go.  It was 14 years old.  It's been with me since I moved into my own place.  This Friday is also Ashley's choir trip.  Jeremy and I are both chaperones this time instead of just me.  That's going to be exciting.  I feel more calm today.  I went back to working out.  I had missed that.  I do have to adjust to the parking situation.  It makes me nervous right now.  The garage door went up twice.  That was reassuring.  And Jeremy didn't want to switch.  In the long run, his side isn't any better.  I do know my side.  Just have to figure out spacial structure.  And I can do it. I'm just nervous because these things were a pretty penny.  I had forgotten how expensive washers and dryers could be.  It had been a while since I had to pay attention.  And yesterday was quite a Monday for others.  I had a handful of friends relay their "shitty" day to me.  In fact, it may be why I felt overwhelmed.  Too much anxiety. Today is recharge.  I'm going to try to decompress and block out the world for a bit.  I might start the 3rd book of Harry Potter.  or my new book from Steve Berry, the 14th colony.  We shall see.  And something I talked about with Jeremy.  We might butt head moments.  We might even bicker a bit.  But I'm not a big fighter now.  I'll express my discontent.  For example, I told him he hurt my feelings on something because I thought he was casting me aside.  He was distracted with a text from a friend, bills, and trying to head to bed.  And we are doing schedules this week different because he's working late Thursday.  But, after a good night's rest I told him, I was guilty of that in the past.    And so in the grand scheme of things, I was really okay.  If he turned into a pattern, then I would get upset.  And he understood my feelings.  He agreed I had every reason to feel the way I did and was sorry.  So....that old saying...Don't sweat the small stuff is true.  When you're anxious, you feel more vulnerable to negativity.  At least, that's my take on it.  It also helped to have wonderful best friends that let you use their washer and dryer in case the delivery hadn't come yesterday.  Jeremy ended up working late and just came home straight.  So he didn't get his pants.  I'm glad I did think of back up. Waiting for you by Jim Brickman is on.  In some way or another, we all experience pressure of some sort.  It's okay to not react well all the time.  We're not always going to adult well.  But two things that might be helpful to remember. 1) It's okay to not be okay all the time 2) Don't make it a pattern.  Now you're holding accountability to it and also infringing your reactions on others.  That's not fair to them. 3) Thank goodness for friends that help you through your "not adulting well" days.  Oh.  I don't know if I mentioned this but it was a happiness glitter bag feeling.  P2 monitored me so I could have a bath.  Jeremy wasn't up yet.  And they were happy to do.  And so Sunday, I got to have a bath.  I don't actually need it all the time.  But I do like making a routine of things.  And that is part of my routine.  I do like routine, after all. lol So today, that thing that's bothering you.  Breathe in. Breathe out.  And let it go.  You know you're silently singing that song now.