There

Okay.There.   Now I feel more human.  I took a power nap.  I needed it badly.  I felt deliriously sleepy.  And a sleep deprived epileptic is not good.  I did my morning routine.  And I can tell you Zest certainly doesn't make me open my eyes like they have you think in the commercial.  Irish Spring does.  Last night I was so happy I could cook in the kitchen.  I got Jeremy some rum.  That is our routine.  I get him whiskey. We actually have some Bird dog whiskey that is delicious. It's Blackberry Whiskey.  It's my favorite. But I'm saving it for actually have the house in tact.  I probably need to get more Woodford Reserve. That's my second favorite.  I honestly wasn't a whiskey woman. I always saw it as too bitter or too strong for my taste. A friend introduced me to it.  I guess sometimes you have to be introduced to the right things.  Yes, I am an epileptic but I do drink alcohol.  You balance it.  I'm a lightweight so I don't have much of it.  But I don't deprive myself.    Then, we talk for about 30 mins, asking about each other's day.  And then I start dinner.  I felt so happy inside to have that part of our routine back.  I know we can go out.  But we did that all last week and that costs money.  And while we live comfortable, we aren't exactly rich.  So, when I can...I get stubborn and want to cook.  MC loaned me her plug so we have a fridge again.  I tossed food out.  But again, I don't feel as bad because we shop daily.  I forgot to work on the Universal remote.  I probably should do that today.  I am so relieved that all it took was buying a universal remote.  I'm not entirely convinced yet.  But I explained about our garage door and Home Depot and Lowe's were both confident about it working.  I guess this issue is rather common.  I ended up getting it at Home Depot when "D" was on her Home Depot errand.  Actually, I was thinking about finality and closure yesterday.  I was thinking about when you get it. And when you don't.  Whether in death or termination of a friendship or relationship.  When my Grandma passed away, I got closure.  I got to hold her hand.  When Grandpa Jim passed away...again..I got closure.  I was holding his hand.  When Aaron passed, I didn't.  I had just seen him the night before.  I kept replaying if there was anything I missed or could have seen.  When some of my friends and I have parted, I thought about the closure we got or didn't for that matter.  I used to think I needed it.  But as months or years passed, I accepted that closure is not something I would get.  And that finality or processing actually was my own closure. I couldn't imagine parting from Jeremy.  But Jeremy actually told me that no matter what happened to us as a couple, we would be friends.  That would never change.  I'm morbid and a little disturbed when it comes to my humor.  I told him that divorce wasn't an option.  He'd have to kill me or something.  And I'd prefer a knife.  I've been stabbed with a knife.  (on my thumb) And I've had a gun put to my head ( I was 14, and the idiot was high).  I'll take the knife.  When your husband is also your best friend, you say crazy stuff to each other.  I didn't realize how much he was until I needed him to be my best friend more than my husband some time back.  If that makes any sense.  Did I mention how much I love that man? It's also nice to hear daily now how lucky he feels to be married to me. And that I am an amazing woman.  Badass is what he says. lol .I needed to hear those things so much.   Okay Okay.  I'll try to stop making you puke.  (insert puke sound) There.  Somewhere in Time from Danny Wright is on.