Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Take a look


Take a look at happiness.  I can't say that every minute of the day it is pure happiness.  I will always struggle with things.  I work every day on them.  And it's much easier with healing.  And surrounding myself with good energy.  And a positive environment.  I let my thoughts wander sometimes to people or memories.  Sometimes they are good.  Sometimes they are not.  I think of the negative memories or things that have crossed my path that have been painful.  And I confront it with happiness.  It's like talking with my inner demon of negative.  That's my new thing.  I confront what has made me sad or hurt or pained me. I confront the sadness about people too.  People I will unlikely ever have conversations with.  And this is what I say.  I'm sorry.  Not for what I have done.  Not for who I am.  But for things going the way they did.  For pain.  Like Javier.  I don't fear him or what he represents anymore.  I've spent too much of my life under some invisible voice that allowed him to make me feel like I was worthless.  I am Queen Sparkles.  I will penetrate your demonic ways with this smile.  This smile has power.  This smile can brush away pain.  This smile says..."Fuck you".  Let your smile say that.  Let your smile let the world know...Go away, pain.  You don't have that power.  I learned that from a friend one time.  It kinda stuck.  So that's what I do now.  I let my smile do the talking.

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